Disturbed-ia

Back in camp again after a damn short, and I do mean short weekend break. Bookout and reach home 11pm+++ on Sat nite and to book in by 2200hrs on Sun nite. Didnt get to do much, cept shopped in Bugis tentatively finding a shirt for Social Nite this thurs which I am SOOOOOO looking forward to =)

Every step i take in the mall, every level I go, I just cant help but think of the times I went there with my frens, my very 2 close jie jies... joking abt, browsing in all de stores, monkeying and laughing all about... now, dont say go shopping tgt, we havent even SEEN each otther ev er since I came in OCS, which has been about... 12 weeks? Yes thats how long it has been... why, what happened?? I seriously missed those times, and those where we always go cine together, watch movies, common topics to talk about *hem hem* =p, and as usual joking about... Now, its more barren than an infertile land. Like the song goes, "How could this happen to me? " Seriously, I really dont know what happen.

Cant get them over the phone, even if I do, after awhile needa hang up, or else is arrange to meet le, last min cancel out on me... haiz... WHY WHY WHY!!!! I just wanna relieve the past... =(

Wonders if this could be the contributing factor why I am not happy in OCS, not bonding with the platoon enough... and now things are worst, I do not have a buddy.. yes alone, =(

Social night Social night~ Though I very loser bring my sis along, but its better den date-less eh =D Looking foward to the food, the resting then, and of course the long bookout after that ^^ Hope everythings goes well till then... Oh yea, hopefully no guard duties, Cdo/CDS then or Xmas eve... Cos I wan go for a Xmas party seriously!! Anyone throwing Xmas parties where I can go to?? =D Hee...

Indulgence in the Beauty of the Midnight Eclipse
-ShawnZ-

Circus

Whew, finally its over. the most xiong activity for service term, Ex Scorpion king..... is over. Done with digging shellscrapes, trenches, fighting enemies and Z monsters. Its damn tough to the physical and mental, especially since my trench was super well dug and thnx to the 30 mins rain, not only I had to re dig but the inside of the trench is super muddy everywhere I step. lean, sit, support on, its soft and squishy and gluey and yes of course, GROSS!!

Then theres also de 'No sleeping' rulle where we must ALL be alert for 'enemy' atks. So glad that its all over. Now blogging back in wingline, bidding farewell to my buddy whom ooc-ed and now leaving de bunk.. haiz... buddy-less... hope pro term I get A Commando Buddy!! =D haha...

Currently staying back in wingline to do lots of sai gang for this batch of commisiioning officers.. carry stuffs... move stuffs... worst of all is mus wait till de end of the whole parade oso which might end arnd.. 9pm? ya.. can onyl bookout after that and book in for nxt day will be at arnd 10pm. Wth... haiz.. I got shopping to do !!! I need buy a new pair of shir tfor social night, some xmas pressies, and others!! Argh!!!and de only day left for shopping for social night is this week, which is tmr! grgh... Oh yea, have to bring back some muddy clothes home to wash too -.- aiyo aiyo!!

Currently love this song by Britney Spears, Circus. De quality I dled is lousy sia.. nvm go home dl again. And sian la, my songs all wiped out from my comp, my mp3, cos stupid ipod can only sync to one itunes, den when de itunes gone and need re-dl, in de end mus re sync so de songs all gone oso zzz -_- frick it!

So... any nice songs, pls send me ;p haha THNX!!

Indulgence in the beauty of the Midnight Eclipse
-ShawnZ-

*****

I know its damn wierd I posted 2 times in a day. Ya but, seriously mus let this out. I have enough. Jus return from my PC interview, seems like as expected, my plt doesn't like me.. haha... it seems I appear on way too many Btm fives. saying I m not a team player?? When I was from waterpolo TEAM??? Ah fak it. Wat makes me more pissed is ppl say I wayang in front of instructors and not doing things? All talk but no action. Frick it, I jus dont see de point in me doing things and banging pots and pans while doing it. Haiz, maybe its jus a series of wrong choices, maybe I shld had chose sispec? I dont know.

Its also super irritating to know that ppl who really are the ones who are slacking, but becos know how to fake things, can get pass this btm five thing, ok, this btm 5 is basically a peer appraisal fyi. Yea in other words, I FAILED my peer appraisal.

Really sick liao la, sick of such things,Ppl say i wayang, No PR, serious attitude problem, all talk but no action, selfish, dont help... aiya sian.. wat happened to me? I really dont know if its me dat has changed, or if ppl hasnt really see me in depth. Wat isit? Can some1 tell me? guide me? I'm really confused..... Its also not helping when instructors keep expecting more from me since I have signed on. Maybe I shldnt sign on after all.. Maybe even this post is a mistake. My life has been a mistake to begin with. Den again, maybe I m jus too overly sensitive? I doubt so.

Trapped in a Whirlpool of Mistakes and Confusions
-ShawnZ-

*Beep* We are currently experiencing technical difficulties.Beep*

Return from camp to learn that my comp crashed again -_- Wth... Gave up repairing le, ask my sis's fren to build up a new one, thankfully now can get cheaper due to... sytex? frick it, dont know how to spell. So yea, currently another weekend with no comp, currently blogging in camp la with so many exciting days past den can blog abt it. For e.g, Sat nite went Double O, O bar with my OCS frens, Roche, Gabriel, Matthew, Ashley, Marcus, Brandon, Joe, Nicholas and yea CUi peng, Sean Pea, Aaron and more I guess.. Sorry for those whom I did not mention, I was too seh to recognise anyone else more.. haha... Drank alot sia.. 1st while waiting I down a whole jug of Vodka Ribena and After I finished dat Roche de alcoholic wouldnt let anyone stop so he bought Vodka red bull and insist that we share it, so yea, more alcohol. After most of us came, we went up to double O and drink somemore. -_- We drank 1 Flaming Lambo, 2 tequila shots.... seh seh seh sia!! And den we party it away dancing!! Marcus was so into the girls Gabriel brought along haha... but the girls has the Hots for Matthew~

Went back off about 3++ in the morning, and yea, before we left Matthew left a memento for Double O, A puke. =p Shared cab home with Matthew and Brandon.

Spent my whole sunday at home and ya monday too, lazy to go out, and no money, spend my days at home watching my sis downloaded videos before her own comp crashed and lucky she burnt the shows alrdy.

We suffering mechanical disasters, my comp, my sis laptop, my vcd player all down =( Wth.......

Yea I suppose its time i need to change the header of my blog... still 2007 lolx... prolly need prepare for 2009 liao la.. ok ok, shall change it during the next bookout if I can on my comp... IF i have one... Hopefully these four days pass by quickly.. I am homesick alrdy =( "I'm just too far, from where U are, i wanna go Home~~" Yea this song is currently playing on my buddy's Nicholas's mp3 -_- wat a coincidence...

I'm feeling so damn emo now...like being thrown into a cold dried well with rain pouring in, de only light above is so far away and its getting blocked up by the dark clouds.. so cold and lonely, if only a warm hand can pull me out of this misery and to find myself embrace in the warmth of the hug.... Frick!!

Indulgence in the Midnight Eclipse
-ShawnZ-

Its a Scare, its a Nightmare!!

Wah almost had to serve RCP due to some sort of losing a equipment. In the first place I didnt really lose it as its someone accidentally took mine by mistake. Was so frantic to learn that it was missing, especially for this week. Its my finally long awaited LONG WEEKEND!! IMAGINE STAYING BACK ON A LONG WEEKEND!! I WILL CRY!! During the whole time I wish it was jus a dream where I can close my eyes and open again to realise its jus all a nightmare. Thankfully it is found... Now I get to book out!! I suppose... we shall see, 2 and a half more days to go =D~ I wanna Book Out~ I wanna book out~~

Hmmm... Sat, Sun, Mon and Tues half day~~ =D Woots wooooooooooooooots~ I wanna have fun and party~ My plt had plans to go double O on sat... hmmm... Tempting to go sia, oh shucks I shall go if they really going, Hadn't touch alcohol for god knows how long sia... Now for sun and mon hmm...

Wan to spend more time w Vodka, my dog, not the alcohol, ever since coem in OCS, I miss him so much!! Every book out I look foward to seeing him running towards me and jumping up and down on his 2 hind legs trying to lick my face de moment I reach home =D So damn CUTE!! OMG, I m turning to a freak!! Others look foward to seeing their GFs and I m looking foward to seeing my dog?!?!? Haha...

Few more weeks and we'll be thru with Service Term... SISPEC crossovers coming in this sat.. hmm...

Thats all for now, till de nxt =D

Indulgence in the Midnight Eclipse,
-ShawnZ-

Tough time dont last, they just stay forever.

Feeling very down and depressed lately... So many Wrong turns, so many bad lucks, that I can hardly see any bright side all around.

My comp jus crashed, and I do mean Crashed. The hard disk is beyond reformat or repair. Now my songs, pictures, datas, documents, all wipe out... Its like part of my life being wipe out. My memories.... the happy times... =( Sorrow sorrow sorrow....

Currently in camp, waiting for tml 2 days 1 night field camp.. haiz.... cant wait to go home, cant bear to leave home... I really miss Vodka...although I jus saw him like 3 hours ago? Haizzzzzzzzzz...

Feeling so down , so down, Getting low, low low low low....I really need something to perk my spirits up manz.... Shitz........ haiz....

-ShawnZ-

Busy BZ Bee Zeeeeeeeeeeeeee

So busy this bookout, have to have my hair cut =( , prepare the mission essential stuffs for my 10 days field camp in BACK in Tekong, study on some things which will be done in the 10 days... arghh wth.. busy busy busy....

A hectic life, a busy schedule.... and none for enjoyment. Haiz.... I m so scared of the field camp sia.. dont know why =( somehow i got a really really bad feeling abt it ... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I wanna scream it out loud, scream off the fear, i wan party, i wan shop, I wanna.. i wanna... i wanna.... so many wants, so little money, and times a wasting. Hope the 10 days can pass by smooothly and fast... and possibly fun. Ha! Fat hope. Bleahx.

-ShawnZ-