Fell..

"I fell, and managed to stand. Now I fall again, but I am too afraid to stand up, lest I will fall again. Just lEave me lying..."

Went to eat botak jones with Joel and his Friend, Shawn, at bedok. The fish & chips is yum and the Cajun chicken.. yum.. the chicken breast meat is as soft and juicy as thigh meat.. but was super full after eating... shld had just ordered the reg instead of large haha.... *Burps*

Good food, Price ok.. and best of all.. the Menu has jokes!! Haha... Quite alot.. but I jus include some short ones here.. for example, " What do u call a smart Blonde? A: a Golden Retriever!" Haha!! another one : "What's the difference between a new spouse and a dog? A: After a year, a dog is still excited to see you!" LOLX... and many more inside..

I was so full from the meal that I still didnt eat anything since 4pm++ I finished that meal.. so full sia.. I think I am losing my stomach size... been eating lesser... hmm no.. irregular appetite.. somethimes wan eat alot.. sometimes totally no appetite.. Haiz pregnancy? =x kidding. Haha...

Losing so many things lately... losing my mind... losing my money... ok not losing.. I m spending too much haha... losing confidence.. losing my fitness in my polo game.. etc.. and soon I'll be losing my hair!! And also,"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend." That "Friend" knows wat I'm talking abt.. and some other frens do know wat I'm talking abt. We totally lost contact with each other, no more smses, no more meeting to go out together, not even msn-ing each other. Used to be so close and talked alot.. now its like a unable to conceive lady's uterus. Empty. Barren. Pumpkin with no seeds. A desert land.

Seriously, where did I go wrong? Argh!! Frick, frick, frick on a stick and a 2 ton brick. I so hate the feeling of lost, especially the feeling of losing a special some1... Its excruciating... I thought I got over it... but who am I kidding.. deep down inside the pain will always be there.. the scar might had fully recover, but the pain that once dere will always be dere. Like guilt, u can never get rid of it watever u do....

Ok enough of another lengthy post.. Here is a song, so damn sad.. actually if u do a search, all his song are almost as sad... anyways.. this song is currently in 987 fm charts.. great sentimental song... Though this version on my post is so great to hear.. but I downloaded a better quality one =) Msn me if u want it...



Single, Available, Desperate - S.A.D.

-ShawnZ-

the tough will last..

Some1 told me, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going... wat if... I am not tough, never was... and never will be.....
Yes, no one said it was easy, but no one ever mentioned to me it was this difficult!!

I dont wan to face each day as it passes by... Growing is such a pain, I dont wanna grow up... I looked back to the times where as kids we were jus carefree, careless and well, problems free other then de usual exam pressure. Sure, we were not in control of our own lives, but jus think, when we were much younger, everything was so easy and simple. Mistakes were minor, adults were at ur commands, so they complains abt u waking them in the middle of the night jus to serve u some milk. But, from wat I had learnt thru my almost 20 years of life, its NOT my problem.

Back were those days, when a simple "Daddy, Papa, Mummy, Mama" comes blurted out unclear from my mouth, will bring smiles, joys, praises from my parents. But now? They demand perfect scores, perfect everything, dont they know, I'm not and never will be perfect?

Back were those days when both my parents still together, I still have a Mummy and a Daddy, where if I was in any pain or sadness, i could jus cry out. Now, I dont have a Mummy, but prolly my younger "stepsister?" have her? Yes I m jealous.

I m jealous of everything, cos my favourite colour's green. I'm jealous of the baby, who get showered with attention anytime of the day, jealous of the people who always gets better things. Jealous of why I wasn't so blessed with looks, wealth, riches, blah blah blah. Jealous of people who gets secret lovey dovey smses/calls from their sweethearts, honey, darling, dear, wateva.

I sure look foward to the day I can put Your pic as my hp wallpaper/screensaver. If only it will come.. at all. Dont feel disgusted, dont everybody wish for something like dat?

Happiness is jus so vague now. A simple toy used to make one on cloud nine. Now nothing seems satisfactory. One jus demand more, jus like a married man wans another mistress and another after dat. A relationship is not as simple as it used to be. People wants riches, if not, looks or a hot body, either from self or from the other partner. Asking for more, for the same results. Just like an antibiotic fighting against infections, increasing dosages to achieve the same result.

This is a fricking long post, if u made it to here, congrats.If u hop away before u reached here, well Jus Frick Off. If u skipped bulks away and scroll down here, Dont be lazy, just read the entire post. U wasted years living ur life, wats another few minutes to jus stop to read and think abt it?

I m not being rude, Jus str8foward. Likewise, I m not emo or depressed, I am jus ... clearly not myself, or being my true self? Doesnt matter.

Cant believe time is passing by ever so fast... I miss my past... I am having seperation anxiety, from my past. I dont wanna grow up, I wanna be a kid, I dont wan to make decisions, I wan to be pampered, I wan to be spoilt, I wan to be easily happy, I wan to... I wan to....



Relinquish the past...

But it will never be the same again..

-shawnz-

Staying in Touch, literally.

Sorry for being MIA for so long. Nothing worthwhile posting unless I talk abt my work experience. Irritating clients, Dead pets, Sobbing Owners, Pets got better and discharged... and so on...

Anyways, I am back with a video, Parody of Mariah Carey's Touch my Body. Love that song, and that parody is so wrong... but its funny =) Enjoy!


-ShawnZ-

Next to you...

Jess sent me this very nice song, Jordin Sparks - Next to you. I love the lyrics alot.. the music too, my favourite quote from the song is," Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more, maybe it's just my imagination." " Whatcha gotta say, whatcha gotta do, How ya get the one you want to want to get next to you?"

Anyways i gouldnt find the full version of the song only, so I just got it from Youtube, but its not a mtv, jus a the song and the lyrics made by the post-er. Some words are missign and some are wrong, but oh well, its still an effort made by him/her =) Enjoy the song... and Thnx again for the great sogn Jess!!!

I wanna get Next Tou You... But I doubt you'll see this... Thank Goodness... or Tough Luck?

-ShawnZ-

Money Money Money

So tired.... Been working lately... believed most of my other mates also doing the same... i mean other den those still studying.. working all for one goal.. MONEY!!!

So sad sia.. NTU jus send me a rejection letter for my application =( At 1st I tot I was accepted but in de end it turn out to be a faux. How I wish I got moeny.. then I wld be able to go oversea study vet.. I really wan to be a Veterinarian =(

Ya, money cant buy Happiness... but can 1 be happy w/o money? They say money cant buy love, but it can trade for one.. or maybe Bribe one.. Anyways, here's a tutorial for those who dont know abt "Money" =) ENjoy!!!



-ShawnZ-

Oh My God?!?!

So tired after work, Me new nick, Louie, and my Jie Jie, Debey aka Huey, went to some restaurant for some supper, jus around the corner of our workplace... wanted to go to this ice cream shop to sit down for sth but this very rude waiter, when we asked if those seats outside belong to the shop, he jus retorted back, "We closing in 20 mins" Not a sorry or wateva.. fine I m a sucker for politeness even if i knew he didnt meant it..

Anyways, we went to this other restaurant instead, "Peaberry & Pretzel" Food... average... desserts are a yum yum!! Let the pics show u~!

The Lychee Sodas, taste nice at the beginning... but towards the end... it taste like longan Drink.. somehow...3/5Yum.. the potato salad... nice~~ 4/5Seafood Broth IMO Canned Sardine

Tasted just like a Opened can of Sardine in tomato sauce + water

1/5The Carrot cake... Delish!! Cheese on top with carrot and more cheese between each layer!!

4/5!! Huey here says the top is too sweet >.> Told her it was me she dont believe =xOk here comes mine, Sorbert Trio as they call it, Going from left to right- Lychee, Mango and Strawberry.... Very nice!!! Strawberry's a bit too sweet tho...

4/5 too... Oh u get to have a choice of 3 flavours, Lychee, Passion fruit, Mango, Citron, Strawberry, coconut and choco.. if I didnt rem wrongly

And this all cost a total of $53!!!

Omg.. went home on a jerky bus that made me so nauseous...

And guess what... Upon reaching home.. my sis found my Mom's Friendster profile.. and ... she DOES go clubbing.. omg... OMG... for some yea.. u will jus think I have a hip mum, nth at all... common.. but u wldn't know that she left me and my sis 12 years ago to achieve her 'Single' Status from her ' Married w 2 kids' status... and yes I was abit jealous when I saw her taking so much pic with this girl... who either is my Mom's Niece or my Younger Sister... tho she dont look like my Mum at all... but maybe she takes after the father.. i dont know..

Anyway, I was indeed slightly jealous at the sight of their 'Mother-Daughter' activities.. den I am having w my 'Own' mum.. Oh well.. Blah... She didnt wanted us back then.. oh well...

For those curious how she look like... YES I WILL SPAM HER PROFILE!!!! I M A BITCH <.<

http://profiles.friendster.com/32524049

She was my Mum.... *note the tense used...

-Shawnz-Louie-

Better in Time..

As promised ytd.. pics of my wrapped up leg... as I was whoring with my cam.. my dog came in.. so took some shots of him too and in de end only 2 shots for my foot... But all de better... dont think anyone wld be interested in pics of a bandaged leg rite...



Omg mY dog's camera shy?!?!?! Bah... thats not convincign enough, Vodka.. Try Harder!!There... much better =D Dont try to be who u're not! Prolly I shld target that sentence back at me...

Everything gets Better in Time, my Sprained Ankle, a Wound, even a Fight with ur Best Friend... I hope things really do get Better in Time.. even... the distance between.. "us"... A Love gets Better in Time... Hopefully..

Oh well, only time will tell... even if everything does not turn out as expected...
as the lyrics goes...

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

-ShawnZ-