Anything of Everything is Something

Yeah eh eh, so Hard... So hard.. so hard...

2010-04-12T11:29:00.002+08:00

Yup, I know, its been like 4 soon to be 5 mths since 2010. Havent thought of a new layout, prolly stick till 2011? Not sure.. been busy, either going for de stupid silver kitty thing or getting high and drunk on de weekends.

Been living a life of a prostitute. Always asked to do thing, do do do do do do do, after 1 task its anotehr one.. it jus goes on and on and on. Not only me, everybody in my plt suffering like I do. Well, its ok we keep kena arrow-ed, cos bo pian, but once we finished our thigns at end, another few piles in. Its neverending, and its always de last min kind, so u cannot plan for it.. and worst of all, ur effort is always not appreciated.

My decision to sign on, has been huanting me since.. and den, to make things worse, I havent get my bonuses yet, thanks to the beautiful organisation. During the recruitment talk, they make it sound so fanciful, den said, "U get ur bonus, str8 after u commission." Well, they missed out, de part, have to find sureties, time to process de sureties, etc etc.

Den they reject my father and sis as my sureties. So yup! I m stuck finding sureties! Found some frens, but they gonna ord soon, den still mus "apply" for them to be sureties, then mus wait, den they go down, blah blah.. super troublesome i tell u.. its freakign irritating! Den de irony is, as long as 21 and abv dont need surety, but I am 21 going to 22 now! they say on de day de contract start mus be 21, but its nto as if they give me on de day contract start? zzzz den my frens, can dont be 21 on de day de contract start, but so long their 21 now. WAT NONSENSE?!?!

Well, den my very very very good "higher up" de one dropping work to us like dropping breadcrumbs to birds, have this very favourite pet phrase: "Very easy 1, not difficult at all, " Ya lo, cos hes not de one doing, hes not de one putting any effort, and after dat, he gets de credits. Not even a thank you, well done or any actions towards that meaning at all. Even prostitutes get, " wow ur ______ was great!" then they get paid. so ya.. haiz...

Ok enuff abt de army stuffs, personal life hasnt been very great either, thanks to a grp of very good frens, it has been manageable. THANKS MY SLUTS!! =D REALLY LOVE U GUYS~!!
Its how very wierd de way we met each other, and ended up so good frens =D Fate is such a wierd wierd thing.. but not blaming it, or i wldnt meet such awesome frens!! Thanks, Aaron, Fad, Nel,Alan....... many many more. If ur name wasnt mentioned here, dont harp too much onto it, I still appreciate knowing u guys, its jus dat theres a freaking long list to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on.. hahhaha

Frens, are easy to get, but Great Frens who understands, shares everything w u, tolerate ur nonsense, is hard to come by.. SO cherish them if u have them, and if u dont, I pray that u will meet them soon =) Everyone deserves at least 1 Great Fren. I wish for everyone to have that deserve. Jus like everyone deserves to be loved.. we r owed dat much...

till de nxt post. Ciao.

-Sephios-

Bad Romance

2009-12-13T16:27:00.003+08:00

Been a long time since i last posted. Soon have to change the layout of the blog, to welcome 2010. Totally no plans on how to change it. Maybe close down? Havent been updating anyways.. well I'll decide again when I get to it. haha.. Still long to go.

Recently, Lady Gaga's new song, "Bad Romance" so addicted to it and de MV. Especially the dance moves, HOT!!

Its sad that how sometimes, somethings are just too late. If only everything was earlier, it will be perfect. Its not as if this was a impromptu. Its jus, fate a lil too late. Nothing sends me in such a turmoil ever since... Nothing makes me so stoned since... Its like amnesia.

Kinda reminds me of the song "Poison" by Groove Coverage. "I wanna love U but I better not touch, I wanna hold u but my sense telling me to stop, I wanna kiss u but i want it too much, I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison." Its like so dramatic rite? Well it is. Actually deres a lot of drama in everyones life. Its so dramatic dat sometimes it seems so impossible.

"If only, we've met earlier..." those words from u, so true. But now its too late, or isit not? Cant even blog properly now. So confused la. Everything is so messy that I cant figure it out myself somehow.

Sometimes my wishes seem to come true in the most horrible kind of way. Its like dere's always a condition to it. Jus like the show "Bedazzled". The wishes always comes true but w a lil, actually alot of side effects. Its prolly the same for me now.

I want Ur Bad Romance~

-Sephios-

An Imperfect Angel...

2009-09-27T21:21:00.002+08:00

Woo yea~ countdown countdown!! 2 more days to Mariah Carey's new album!! Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel!! Cant wait sia!!haha... Hmm deres also dis song by taylor swift and boys like girls, "Two is better than one" Cant seem to find it for dl sia.. hmm anyone have can send me? xD hahah

Anyways been a long time since I llast blogged, I know. Its just I have these emotions all welled up, all the happiness fustrations, anger, ya da ya da, all together, and it seems so hard for me to put them in words. morever to spell it out on a blog where everyone can see.. some things are jus personal and pvt to be posted out... mostly these few days are emo-ness and anger. Very little happpiness... not that dont have...

Met some great frens haha, Clubber Buddies!! =D Its time to bring the Parties back on!!! Woo hoo!!!! Speaking of clubbing... I saw B recently at a club.. Apparently B is sorta still avoiding me.. I think, i asked B out, but B said isn't free... well benefit of doubt, but even if its jus a lie, wat can I do?

Oso saw my.. hmmm wat u call that? My "mental barrier" who always seems to be better den me, and one whom I wish to compare to but jus cant reach. Ok its complicated. Yea I have a low self esteem tho as much as possible i try not to think I have... hahah I know I am not speaking logically now.. whenever I have lots of emotion bottled, a sudden outpour usually made me not able to think properly haha...

ANyways, tmr, will be my 4TH DRIVING TEST, hopefully my last, cos I hope I will FINALLY PASS.zZZZZZZzzzz...

Hmm I realised my blog needs a revamp soon xD Currently thinking of a new concept. Well they say, to have a new start, u need to start new. Prolly, to make my life, hopefully, more interesting and less emo.. i shall chnage a new concept, which is less emo or not emo.. haha... this means colour, picture will need a makeover =D but all this is still in planning phase =x

Till nxt time~

Oh yea, I jus thought of a mroe original nick, better den Seraphi, More original, hopefully a new nick oso a new start. How does Sephios sound? =D nice rite?? Original!! Not liek Seraphi, well this nick was from my Fav Angel digimon Seraphimon take away de mon.

SO now Sephios, more original, cut and paste from diff names, and i dont think its taken by ppl tho.... I jus like Having a nick dat starts w an 'S' haha....

-ShawnZ aka Sephios-

Shopping SpppppprrriIIIIIIIiiiIIIIEEeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE~?

2009-08-30T21:57:00.002+08:00

I jus love shopping =D Really can get ur mind off things.

Hmmm went around shopping for friend's bdae pressies. Got one and left one more... needa go back do research on the thing she wants 1st haha... Dont wanna get sth one doesnt want haha.

Anyways, ended buying more things for myself den for others =x haha.. had dinner at 'Say Cheeze' a restaurant in Tampines 1... The food is great and de price is reasonable...

Too bad didnt bring my cam, didnt expect to eat dere haha... ordered the Bailey's Cheesecake.. Hmmm~ it was delicious, especially the shot of bailey's beside it =p hahaha shit!! I m an ALCOHOLIC!!

Actually wanted to buy a season of Scrubs, ended up forgetting abt it.. well nxt time den.. =/

Hmmmmm the reason why i can do so much shopping now compaerd to last time is becos of signing on... Maybe i shld sign on for life eh? haha... doubt I will though...

Anyways, dont really have anything to say for this post..

till nxt time I suppose...

-ShawnZ-

Best Birthday? Or Worst?

2009-08-16T19:17:00.002+08:00

Yea.. my impt 21st Bdae past, with me, arranging a get tgt dinner on Sat w frens, WHIC, was cancelled, postponed, wateva. It nvr happened. Ppl not free... and so on.. haiz.. and worst, on my birthday iotself, had to book in early due to some event i had to participate nxt day. Speaking of which, wonders if its a blessing in disguise.

ANyways, start from the top, rem some post back I talked abt this person I like, let that person be B. Anyways, de ntie be4, jus randomly chatted w a good friend of mine, and randomly dropped this idea dat I hoped B rems mybirthday and wld send me a birthday wishing, since I did it for B on B's birthday. Well, On de nite, I mean early morn, abt 12am++ B wished me happy bdae!! Yea I was overjoyed! But then.. its jus a birthday wishing nth much, so I jus put off any other ideas. Den, on de nite of book in, yea, it sux, book in early, but guess who I saw when i was on my way back to camp at the bus stop!! Yes!! Its B!! Omg!! Is dis god trying to give me a sign, a chance, or isit jus trying to play a stupid cruel trick on me on my Birthday!! Yea, till now i still dont get this 'arrangement'. Jus made me feel bad all over again.

And well, I DID have a Bdae celebration, on 8th Aug when I was in tekong, my guys who went in this wave w me, bought a Sara Lee cake, and surprised me jus before we were abt to watch Saw 4... haha... well a Sara Lee cake is better den no cake at all, I guess...

Hmm why am i suddenly talking abt this when it happened a week ago?? well, yttd watched Liar, Liar cldnt help but feel, if only birthday wishes DO really come true.. haiz.. I hope mine does =( somehow, one way or another....

oh well, better stop before this post turns emo again.

-ShawnZ-

I wan Water Dessert too.. T_T

2009-07-29T20:21:00.004+08:00

Ok, nothing much to say.. gonna go on courses soon... and well lucky I wont be needing to go for my ops during my bdae =D

SOmehow I just dont understand, y of all the other officers and PCs available my DyS1, the one who plans DO duties, keep pestering me to take one up although I am seriously not able to, and with valid reasons like ops or else is I've got compulsory activities. And worst, he initially wanted me to take up duty on my Bdae itself? and when I told him I cant cos its ym bdae, he says, his own mother bdae he oso do DO duties. Now his mother angry~ wan disown him~ yada yada.... Wth? Well, unless his mother was supposed to be 21 den, I guess I got nth to say huh? But I guess not, cld it? Anyways, I dont care, I wont do it on my Bdae and dats it. Altho I know I prolly wont have anything planned for dat day, since its a sunday, and my frens and I prolly needs to book in on the nite itself.. soo.... unless some1 asks me out in the afternoon... and sux, I always wanted to have a extravagant 21st bdae, but I guess, NS really dont allow such things =( Not only am I hvaing a hard time alrdy making time for myself, due to Ns, my frens some are oso not free..haiz.... And den dere is dis guy, who told me I shld jus asked him to FO, actually quite alot did ask me to do so. And he added, i am so soft, sure kena makan 1. Eh.. am I being makan now? I guess sometimes one wld jusbitch abt, grumble, but always lacks the courage to really do sth abt it. Yup I m one. I only bitch, grumble, but nvr seem to be able to muster up the courage to really go face it. De same as risks. I guess, when u've failed too many times, risks is jus sth U wont dare to take unless u r certain of it. I did try, to u know, be a little more risky, dare to face up to challenges, dare to gamble (not mj-ing kind, or gambling kind of gamble), but somehow deres dis thing inside of me keep holding me back no matter how much I try to beat it. I guess, I am always my own obstruction and barrier.

Anyways, dats not the purpose of this post. the reason for this post is, I'M IN LOVE~!! Ya rite. -_- Ok no more nonsense... the reason for this post is, I browsed thru youtube, my old old hobby, found a couple of funny vids, a few of which is a korean guy trying to sing english songs, rem de last time the bollywood Thriller? well this is sth like it. So Enjoy!! Starting with, my all time Fav song, TOUCH MY BODY!!

So.. No one's gonna Shave Him eh? =p

ok the others not as funny.. so dats abt it. ENJOY!! Guess he is a BIG fan of mariah carey, almost all his videos he is singing songs of Mariah Carey.

-ShawnZ-

Just another Post

2009-07-19T15:21:00.003+08:00

Ok, this post probably will be just another of my random rambling. Lets see, wat should I talk abt hmmm...

Well, lets start at my new unit, new coy, yea, currently in Maju SD coy, havent got my platoon yet, currently jus stand in PC for some1's plt. The guys, well they're quite fun to be with. Alll ORD-ing soon haha. Ok before I go on sprouting wat I shldnt sprout, probably i Should stop here on my army stuffs.

Anyways, speaking of Sprouts, ytd I went to watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, well, its cool, however abit disappointing if U had read the book. Nevertheless, its still good. Maybe I said that cos I love Harry Potter Series. Kinda sad, de book ended tho =/ But den, a Neverending story isn't nice to read anyways. Wat Talking me??

Before the movie we went to eat at Changing Appetite which is at Marina Square, that place seems so famillar but I onyl realise that was the place, I had my 1st date with a certain some1 whom I used to, and still adore. It was great to reminisce that feeling again, but kind of sad, as it jus a part of the sad memory I had, just like listening to the song "With you' which was the song that was playing when we both were dere. Anyways, dats all de past, so lets jus skip it away.
I really need to buy a new camera for myself sia...I am missing so many great photo times jus becos I have neither a cam phone nor a cam w me. After dat we went to sneak a peek of the fireworks from the NDP preview and it was magnificent and beautiful.

Dont cha hate the feeling of pining for someone, something to happen? Well currently cant stop thinking abt something, someone. Jus the thought, made me smile, Just like the song Smile - Uncle Kracker. Great Song, meaningful lyrics. Well, I went to search and got 2 more other songs by him, Follow me and Drift away, both are great too!! My kinda of songs!

Spekaing of songs, each time I listen to Wonder girls Nobody, kinda remind me of my poly clique of frens, 'Slave' Cornie, "Super White aka Chiobu*pukes*' Jacinth, 'Da Tou' Hanqun, and Jinshun. Yea wierd eh, Jinshun got no nickname!! I just realised we didnt give him one!! Nvm nxt time meet up we shall discuss this issue =x Anyways, i was saying, not that we had met up and that song was like 'our song', but its just dat, that song has a set of dance moves, which if it was in poly days, hanqun and I wld prolly go learn it and then play with it when we get together. Yea its stupid things like dis which made my poly days fun, other den my waterpolo =) Speaking of which, havent been going for a long time. wonders if I had gone rusty.. =/

I really missed those times going crazy and going out w frens and yea a little waterpolo on the way too =) Haiz..

This is a freaking boring Sunday!! Maybe I shall go out later to buy the Portable DVD player which I set out to buy be4 my book in. And sux, I got DO duties this tues and coming sun.. -_- Booooo.....

-ShawnZ-

A disappointing ending and beginning.

2009-06-14T23:12:00.003+08:00

Hmm my commissioning turned out to be a disappointing 1... dont get me wrong.. de parade went smoothly, de weather was kind enuff to rain only after the parade ended, everybody did their respective drills perfectly... everything was good for the majority.. for me.. i was disappointed.

It seems that my 9 mths of perseverance, once in a lifetime event, seems to be just 1 small thing to others. Yeah, cos its not THEIR commissioning I guess. My own sis can even find it so unimportant compare to her student's tuition. WOW!! Dats for family.

But oh well at least she told me she will not come, way beforehand so I gave my tickets to my friends. ANd wow.. of all my friends I have, I chose my, I thought, waterpolo Buddies? I dont know. Well, yes I wld be sad if u said u cld not make it, but now I m upset cos they told me they cldnt make it, well the day before and had to leave early on the day itself.. and most power, cannot turn up for the dining at the VIP right before de dinner itself?? Wow... I dont know.. I guess my events are so minute and unimportant huh? Like I said if u told me way beforehand when I asked u, I cld still find replacement. But no! Everything last min.

Had an empty seat with untouched food served on my table. My Section instructor asked me, y is dere an empty seat. Isnt my mother coming? And yea, for 6 mths, he didnt know I was from a divorced parents family. Some section intructor/officer eh? I promise, I will NEVER be such an officer. NEVER.

During the parade, I cried, nope, not becos I m touched dat I finally commissioned. Cos initially I cldnt find my father or frens. Like a lost dog, in the parade sq I visually scanned for them, but to no avail. I thought they chose not to come. I thought they missed it. Hmm but then I caught a glimpse of my father right before the affixing of the rank, and yea, I was delighted. At least there's someone. and the china lady wasnt dere =D And den I found out the reason I cld not find my fren was becos they were at the wrong seat, they cldnt find me. Becos he didnt know behind he invitation card was where i wrote all the details. And he didnt know abt all these even tho, I explained every single thing abt it when i pass the tix to him. Go figure.

ANyways, right before the parade, my 'wheel of fortune gang' smsed me to congratulate me on my commission, was happy yea, but felt bad I didnt invite them.. well at least i think the turn out wld be better? SHame on me to think dat... yea nto as if my wp buddies AWOL. they did have their reasons.. which I dont know what. But anyways, yea, jus upset, disappointed and yea I m petty, like a girl, tight chested, small gas, wateva k? I m sick of it. Y cant I jus bitch or grumble on sth I dont like. Y cant I be angry abt sth that pissed me off? Y others can and not me? Y U can and I cant??? Wtf is dis!!

Well its not all that bad... I guess... its jus a commissioning aint it? Nobody cares unless u're on the parade itself. Or De one commissioning. It doesn't matter to anybody, nobody nobody but U.

Yea still feeling sore, disappointed wateva, as I bitch abt this, tears welled up in my eyes again. shivers went

down my spine, goosebumps popping. WTH, I m an officer now, this type of small matters shldnt get into my head. Can it?

May tmr be a better day, may de nxt chapter be a better beginning.
-ShawnZ-

The Night is never as dark as U think it is..

2009-05-30T14:21:00.003+08:00

Jus a random post again. Trying to change the way I perceive things, changing view, changing attitude, hopefully changing life and destiny. Or is dis part of destiny? hmmm...

Its like a caterpillar changing to a cocoon. Hopefully it wld be abutterfly next, beautiful, and free to fly... If my life before was a Rainy Day, I hope de future wld be like the rainbow after dat. Yes super super random words I know haha... Unable to think coherently now,jus gotthat Urge to Blog somehow. How I wish I have a camera now, can cam whoring and take pics of my dog... And yea, I DO NOT HAVE A CAMERA FOR MY COMMS PARADE!! >_<>Changes; Transformation.
-ShawnZ-

Must be positive, must be positive..?

2009-05-22T16:32:00.005+08:00

Kinda having lots of negative thoughts lately, even tho I shld be happier since now I am even closer to my commissioning parade. No more chiong sua for de nxt 3 weeks but marching, marching,drills, rehearsals.. But somehow deep inside I dont feel happy..

Sometimes the past is better than the present or maybe even the future.

I seriously missed my poly life,where everythign is so simple and life is easy, revolving only around study,waterpolo, fun, friends, imitating Miss Swan, laughing at one another's cold jokes, teasing one another in a fun and NOT offensive ways, always have time for one another. Where my internet connection, is still usable unlike now... load so freaking slow,connectin quality damn lousy, keep disconnecting, stupid lousy M1 broadband zzz -.-

Friends are so busy that when they're free, I'm busy. I'm free, they're busy. This suck. When will we ever have time for one another. Even the closest of friends also gets distant. Dont say friends,families oso does.

Speakign of which, my own sis,choose to teach tuition over going for my Comms Parade. Apparently her student's PSLE is more impt than my once in a lifetime Comms Parade. TO make things worst, dat extra ticket,my father planned to use it to bring his China Bitch. WTH, I DONT WANT!! I DONT WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But its repressed in my heart, I dont know how to speak up. Ithink I need courage. I m like the Lion in Wizard of Oz. IO lack of courage.. I need some courage. Its not only for this, alot of things I lack courage. Prolly thats y I m still single now, yea?

But sometimes, my courage always comes for stupid things making me bold, causing undesirable consequences, consequences I never did wanted it to happen.

Boldness and Courage is such a thin fine line man, I jus can't get it.

I realised I am becoming alcoholic, I jus wanna drink, drink and get high. But too bad, like I said, I couldnt find time with my friends. So I m jus sitting at home, thinking abt getting high and drunk. Yea. I sound emo and foolish. Who cares! Not even my own family does anyways. Come on Get higher, just like in Matt Nathanson's song. I wanna get higher!

Then again some of u might feel, if I dont try, nothing can be done. But I HAVE been trying, I keep telling ppl, I CONSTANTLY TRIED to make things work out. But it takes 2 hands to clap. I am doing the clapping but there's no "other hand" to make it work. And I m sick of it, sick of ppl doubting that I m trying, thinking that I str8away gave up.

Yeah, this is for those, out dere, whom I had been wanting to tell u, but lack the courage to say this: " Dont Fricking Judge me when U dont even know me, or watever's going on!"

Well thats finally off my chest, but not verbally or pointed to the ppl I want to say to tho. Those ppl prolly dont even know the existence of this blog. Which is good.

As I type, I keep seeing my internet connection going on and off, this is freaking irritating. I m so fustrated, all the feelings bottled up.. how I wish i can throw the bottle away.. I wanna scream it all out~

Nobody knows, Nobody Cares.

Hmm somehow Imeem dont allow me to put the full evrsion of this song, u have to go to the website and listen if u wanna hear the full song.. but oh well, the chorus is the impt part.

All By Myself - Celine Dion
All by myself, dont wanna be, all by myself, anymore...
-ShawnZ-

I huff and puff and I break my own house down.

2009-04-04T21:11:00.003+08:00

I lost my mother when I was young, now I half lost my father and soon I gonna lose my sister. Nope, not to terminal illness. But to minor stupid things. We quarrelled, she slapped me on the arms and I slapped back on the calf. Apparently the doctor said she was PUNCHED. Wow I didnt know I had so much power in my palm! And den now I am trying to set things properly before going to Brunei. Guess wat, my own sister, the one who shared the same blood, genes as me, held up a feather duster, pointing at me, saying she's afraid of me? WTH? As if I m a lunatic?! Like I go around beating ppl up?!?!?! Wth...

Ok fine maybe I am not exactly totally up to the idea of apologising, cos somewhere deep down in my heart I still feel I am not totally in the wrong. She touched my stuffs w/o asking me 1st, when I ask abt it, she dont give a shit, she is not apologetic at all, and she feels that she is the only one who is tired in the whole wide world. Yea, I really felt this way, and guess wat, yes I resent the fact that i am eating humble pie to set things str8 and she not only dont accept my apology, she still thinks she is in the right. Ok yea I hate this attitude of hers, thinking she is always right, well, it runs in the genes.

Its super irritating that here, i am trying to set things proper be4 I leave for Brunei, and dere she jus mus make things difficult. Den worst, everyone, thinks i am in the wrong. Everyone. Its as if ever since I gone into the army, I've become an outsider all of a sudden. Its liek I no longer "family".

Being a Guy sux, u have to take all the shit and the blame, all a Girl need to do is acty helpless and she gets all the attention and sympathy. I swear, in my nxt life, I mus be a Girl. Guy= ALways in the Wrong, Girl = Helpless; always in the right.

Maybe I shld had signed on navy, sail away, home all over the place. What is home? a material thing, or where tyhe heart belongs?

-ShawnZ-

Commission Loh!!

2009-03-21T21:44:00.002+08:00

Sadly, not my Commissioning haha.. at least it meant I m getting closer to mine!! Cos this batch is the last batch right before mine. When I saw them marching, singing loudly, parents help to put on epaulets, and of course the highlight - Throwing of Caps!! When I saw all these, my heart really... sank, I cried, thinking when would it be my turn. Partly I cried becos I m too emotional. Hahaha.. I wanna commision too.. =(

Earned abit of Angbao money today, cos there is dis saying that As a newly commision officer, u must give whoever who salutes u first a angbao to ensure u have a smooth time aahead. So yeah, I was the usher and thus able to be the 1st guy to salute. Yea... i wan the angbaos money.. but thsoe with 2LT epaulets or little motivational notes inside are the best. Those with names signed are even better!! went to facebook to search some of them, hoping to find them and thank them for the angbaos. However managed to find 1 only =( haiz... really hope to be able to see them again and thank them... for the encouragement, and of course the money =) haha...

Anyways, time left before my lights out is short, gtg end this post soon, plus this stupid CPS of mine keep picking on me to do sai gang... )#(@&_*_)()

SO yea, Good nite, and CONGRATSULATIONS 72/08 BATCH SENIORS (B & E wing) !! Hope U have a smooth journey as a 2LT ahead!! and THNX FOR UR ANGBAOS AND NOTES AND EPAULETS~!!! =D

-ShawnZ-

A series of Unfortunate choices.

2009-03-13T12:18:00.003+08:00

Have U ever got stuck between to choose one thing or another? I bet everyone does. For me, had them many times. It is great if things turns out well, but den, when things goes bad, u jus cant do anything and blame ur sheer dumb bad luck.

Along my life journey, I really, really hate making decisions. I hate myself for constantly making the wrong choices... Most recent example... I chose to report sick becos I really felt very sick and den.. got status. Well Becos of this choice, I am gonna miss CSB, which I had tried consoloing myself ytd. But den today i realised, by reporting sick, I did nto turn up ytd for my unit attachment and den, they took a picture of the "interns" and yup I wasn't inside. and this picture, was used to give us as token od appreciation and one copy was blown up and given to the wing as a token of appreciation. Its alrdy bad enuff I couldnt get my CSB now I am not in the grp photo.. its not that I m DYING to be in a photo, but its not A photo, its THE photo. Aiya I know I m not making any sense now. Haiz... and in addition, they were given a 2lt rank epaulet ytd, I didnt receive cos I didnt go, but I learnt that one guy oso didnt go, but he got it becos some1 kept 1 for him. That jus threw me to think, y didnt I get one too? Isit, I m so invisible dat ppl dont rem my presence?

All this while I have been making wrong choices, prolly even coming ocs was wrong. Going to TP sci was wrong. Joining WP was wrong. and a few other choices which isnt convenient to mention here. I really, really afraid of making any more choices lest they be wrong,but then again, whats a right choice or a wrong choice? U cant really tell cant u, even if that thing is over. But somehow, in our herats deep down we know if its wrong or right. Yea, I m speaking incoherently now, I myself dont even understand what I am posting, what I am trying to ramble, babble, pour out.

I really hate myself, everything I do, try to do, everything I am.

If I could be a murderer, I would murder - Myself
-ShawnZ-

Shawny got Low Low Low low...

2009-03-11T19:48:00.002+08:00

Haiz... Feeling down under the weather... started with jus a flu now.. its like flu+cough+phlegm+many more and worst... CSB is coming up.. shyt!!

Yea and becos of this CSB.. not booking out till on sun... HAIZ LOW MORALE AH!!! Sian.... haiz.... Jus got my pay.. but no chance to spend... when got chance to spend.. no time.. this sux man... haiyo...

I wanna buy a PSP, now stuck between buying a new one or a 2nd hand 1... new one cost abt $100 more ... but I dont think I can afford the $100 more unless I get extra money somehow somewhere haha...but den a 2nd hand one like not reliable leh... haiyo...

Actually I got lots of things to babble abt with them not organised, a lot of things cant be said... alot of things I cant do but wanna do... haiz this sux to the core sia... It jus sux being sick on a time u dont wanna be... SUX SUX SUX!!!!

Watched Marley and Me last sat, disappointed by the movie.. doing injustice to the book and to the actual Marley... somehow... Go read the book, its much better den de movie for those who felt the movie was superb. Lotta shows either coming up or alrdy up which I wanna watch... shows like, Streeet FIghter, watchmen, hotel for dogs, night in museum 2... etc.. ARGH I WANNA WATCH!!! but going brunei soon... haiz haiz haiz!! LOW AH!!!

Caught the show "I'm just not that into U" ahile back, great show, love the story. Its just so good when theres a happy ending isn't it? I'm Jealous. Frick. A sentence from the show really touch me, my heart, my brain, my.. whatever - "If a Man really wans to See U, he will do everything/anything to See U." Awww.. so true... yet foolish ppl like me... always wished it wasn't this way. Always think abt for excuse for the other party. Deep down u know its impossible, but u jus die die hope that the 0.000000000000001% chance will happen.

Haiz... I need some boosters.. morale.. immunity... health...courage.. intelligence... whatever..

Fools will be Fools, always.
-ShawnZ-

Random Brawling..

2009-03-02T08:41:00.002+08:00

Just finished reading Marley & Me, Can't get through the last few chapters w/o even once stop shedding any tears... its just so super sad... Especially the last part when ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ shall not spoil for readers who havent finished reading or planned to start reading or havent read it yet. I believe this part wont be reflected in the movie as how much can a 2 hrs movie show compared to the whole book of 13 yrs of Marley's life and the Author and his family's life? Little Patrick, Conor and Colleen, how the couple struggled through rough times... and so on...

When the Author wrote about lots of stuff, cant help but think back abt Vodka.. and somehow parts of my memories working in The Animal Clinic comes in, abt ow some owners desperately tried to save thier pets no matter the costs, how they resist choosing PTS or how they finally chose PTS... But of course there were incident where owners jus chose to put down their dogs for a miserly little problem like skin problem. Yes its exp, but u chose the dog!! For Goodness sake! How can u bear to PTS him/her just because of it??? And worst, the dog is fit as a fiddle, young, lively, healthy except for the long term skin problem which only requires a little bit more effort in taking care if u dont wish to spend the money.. Ah shucks, humans are so hard to comprehend compared to animals -_-

A little off topic here,

As mentioned, jus returned from Taiwan after 3 weeks, however it felt like been out of touch w SG for 3 yrs... so many changes... 1stly is the new MRT stops.. Joo Kun and I think is Pioneer? Anyways.. it all seems so sudden... 2nd is the 'newly' constructed slope for trolleys, wheeled vehicle.. beside a step near my house, My sis says it has always been dere even be4 I left for taiwan, but I insist I onyl noticed it when I came back. Another change is the move of furniture in my house. Every thing seems to have changed...
One more change is.. my Dog.. his eating habit changed... he no longer leave the food dere for a long time before finishing it up, as what my sis mentioned, he now finished it upon filling of his bowl. But I'm so glad one thing hasn't changed, his loyalty and my position in the house to him =)

He still sticks to me alot around the house, and I will nvr forget when I came back, he runs out of the house for the 1st time w/o his leash to welcome me, and also this happened ytd nite when I wanted to leave for camp. He ran out w/o his leash which usually the leash meant permission to leave the house.

As for the position in the house, I was holdign a hard boiled egg in my hand in front of his face, all he did was smelled the egg, licked his lips and sat obediently giving a slight whimper and watching the egg closely and trying to shake hands in hoping to use this little trick to get the egg. However when my sister hold the very same egg, he make a lunge for it wanting to eat it and when I hold the egg again, he went back to his sitting obediently again. =D

Shall blog again when I have more things to say, Till nxt time..

-ShawnZ-

Chong Taipei dao Beijing~

2009-02-22T17:21:00.002+08:00

Yo!! Currently blogging in taiwan... waiting for my 3 days r and r, which is like tmr... going kaohsiung then taipei last day, SHOPPING SPREE!!!

Wish to try the hot spring but nobody else wans to go sobs...... wish to buy some shoes, and prolly if possible the guidebook for one of the game i hvae been dying to get...my fav game... tth2 =p haha.. den i shall replay once i get back to SG...

Seen alot of doggies runnign abt which made me miss my own dog at home even even EVEN more.. >.< him ="p">

Ok shall not talk much, my time for internet usage is running out, blog again when i come back from taiwan, hopefully w lots of photos and gifts xD

Ta da

Indulgence in the Beauty of the Eclipse in Taiwan
-ShawnZ-

='(

2009-02-05T21:37:00.003+08:00

Went for my first ever Mambo experience at ZOuk ytd, it was AWESOME!! Woots!! My fav songs, Summer rain and Together Forever haha..

Didnt drink alot ytd, jus 1 glass of my fav vodka ribena (which isnt really that good, vodka taste too little), 2 jegabombs and 1 awesome long island tea! I shld had gotten the long island tea instead of the vodka ribena -_- Wasnt high ytd... but then the atmosphere is enough to start the adrenaline pumping!! woots!! It isnt jus a Sausage fest!! Thankfully there is a grp of girls, I think Gab's frens and we were dancing with them. Jiajun is such an ass, he go tell the girls I m gay, Idiot sia.. >=( and the girls came and asked me if I really was. WTF LA JIAJUN!!

As usual, Shahrez was super super high... and we left abt 4am++ right after the last song, Mambo No.5~

Saw some1 there ytd.. some1 whom is able to relive the good and bad memories.. Oh well, it had always been a stupid wishful thinking of my part in the 1st place... and wonder if its this thats brings me to my 2nd part of the post..

For no apparent reason, all of a sudden today, suddenly feeling super super emo, could it be that I m leaving for taiwan? Not that its not possible, or could it be just whom I saw ytd? haiz..
Tried calling my fren to talk, de one whom I had broke contact with ever since I come ocs, a very good friend I thought.. but to no avail... still couldnt get hold of her to een talk for 10 secs... wat else is new.. Super super super emo...

Call me a sucker if u must, who doesnt want to be wished a smooth journey, or even jus a 'take care' wld suffice. But no, for the whole day I got only 2. And even as I m blogging now, I m alone at home, sis dont knwo go where, father go out. Does anybody ever care, Do anybody even care?
Its hurting inside, the pain is undescribable.. ya I m an attention seeker, So what? Haiz..... it mus be nice to always be under the Spotlight, showered by Attention.. blah blah blah (irrevelant ramblings again)

I want a, need a super good friend, a BFF, one who always be there when I need him/her, 1 whom I can share alot of thigns with, one whom i can really feel good to share all the secrets with, one whom I can always go clubbing with, one whom will nvr crosses the line of R/S and always jus be and stay as the bestest of best friends, a "Bitch Friend" some may call, yes, I need one. Haiz.... Nobody wants to be Lonely

Still Searching... where is he/she located~ Actually much prefer a 'she' then a 'he' tho haha.. a 'she' is more open, and for events that requires a partner... 'she' can coem to my aid haha =p or even better.. its a grp of 'hes' , 'shes' and 'hes/shes' . The more BFFs the merrier!!

But.. where r they, where can they be found?? =( haiz..

See, I told u I was super Emo today... ='(

Just Leave me to Die, under the Beautiful Eclipse, Bury me under the darkness where only the Moonlight basked, where Silence is the only thing that can be heard.
-ShawnZ-

A Let Down...

2009-01-26T21:01:00.002+08:00

Lots of letdowns during this CNY... =(

Seriously the worst Apple MP3 that u can purchase is the shuffle. Because the fact that it is different from the other apple mp3... the charging plug, is using the earphone plug, not the normal apple type. So there is absolutely no way u can charge it without using USB and in camp no USB is allowed... zzz.... I used to have this dock adapter that can "convert" the plug to the normal apple kind.. but it spoilt on me and now I am unable to replace it. Went Sim Lim Sq on new year's eve, the exact same place where I bought the 1st one. Was told out of stock and prolly out of market... wth... if apple wan to chu stunt with the shuffle, they should cater similar things for shuffle too la... now de shuffle cannot survive w/o usb... as in only way of charging is usb.. even if u wan to use electrical socket, somehow USB is involved too... zzz.. I m screwed la... den now I think I be purchasing a new apple mp3 -_-... any cheap and good recommendations? =x Prefably below $150 xD I know its impossible though... haha

Second letdown was the show I went to watch with my family earlier on, "love Matters"... I think it is by far the worst film Jack Neo produced... the story is very jumpy... with the plot suddenly pop up a very extreme kind of problem and the problem subsides very illogically.. ya... shld had watch Wedding Game or All well's ends well 2009 =/ Oh well...

I seriously hope there is an advance pay before my departure to ROC sia.. cos My bank is dried up and I dont want go ROC R & R with no money >.<>

Lucky I have alrdy got Gold for IPPT and passed SOC, so yea, I can pig out for new year =D and I believe for the Reunion dinner I had done it... ahhaha.... time for second round tmr~ =x

-ShawnZ-

-ShawnZ-

Speechless

2009-01-07T19:23:00.002+08:00

Hmm escaped duty for this weekend.. due to being in another appt =D So yea, wont be getting duty(unless xtras, hopefully not) till after the Taiwan trg.

Stupid sia, went to MO for stomach pain/diarrhea, came back and caught a flu and now evolve to a sore throat -_- Bleah. Worst of all, cant see Mo lest, kena status and have to miss de SOC test this fri.. argh!! Stupid then next week after 1 whole week of outfield/fieldcamp, come back ippt test -_- omg, hopefully still can get gold sia... better clear it soon so during CNY can party and eat as much as I want haha..

Currently thoughts are quite blank.. dont exactly know what to say, oprolly blog another time.. Only using now, cause bunk's com spoilt and its the only time I can use com.. haha

Ya till nxt time... Waiting for pay day~

-ShawnZ-

This Suck.

2009-01-04T08:42:00.002+08:00

Its a beautiful sunday morning~! And guess where i am - In camp. -_- Yes it suck. All because I am picked to be in the initiation ceremony of the junior cadets.. Dont even know why I was chosen... zzzz Still having a tummyache, which I cant pinpoint the reason or cause... somewhat diarrhea but not yet. Has been there since thurs... grgh...

Worse news I had received thus far is dat, prolly nxt weekend I m down for regimental duties.. WTH... its like 2 weekends kena burnt la... ccb.... when I approach the CWSM.. what he told me was, well this weekend I got to bookout wat. Yea.. I did... for less then 7 hrs la. CCB. Its like doing 2 regimental duties for 2 consecutive weekends la. zzzzzz Stupid.

ARGH!!! I SHLD BE AT HOME GAMING NOW!!!!! As for waht game I m playing.. its somewhat like maple... BUT in 3D.. and somewhat like Cabal.. but with very cute characters, monsters =D Haha... anyways yea, the game I m playing is Nostale haha... IGN: EclipseX, currently lvl 42 mage... wants to reach 55 asap to get the blue mage card though.. so ya.. with only able to play on weekends... I doubt I can even be Lvl55 before going off for my 1st overseas trip =( But I sworn not to quit the game till I get that card. Haha.. =x

Ok I shall stop rattling nonsense now... till the nxt time =D
-ShawnZ-

HNY 2009!!

2009-01-01T17:12:00.007+08:00

Ok.. Right after the Comd Evening Movie Gala, went Brewerkz with Matt, Roche, Jeremy, SHah, Aaron, Brandy the Cwc and Matts 3 Pretty Girlfrens :) Drank 2 towers,1 steam beer and 1 Golden ale, personally felt Golden Ale much much better then de steam 1... anyways, we watched Shah go crazy haha... he is SUPER HIGH!!! SUPER!!!! serious.. I think i was jus next to him... i felt very high too.. haha... abit seh... I think I remember i keep poking ppl's faces =x specially matt and Jeremy I think.. and then it was cam whoring~!! (check up my facebook for the pics) hahaha... See I wasn't Lying right, Shah's Damn HIGH!! Haha.. Ok I am not exactly much better =x

Anyways thats on 30th Dec... woke up the nxt day with a fricking hangover...

Den come 31st dec, more drinking and I jus recovered from the previous night's hangover... no pictures at the moment tho... anyways we went marcus house, Joel and his gal, marcus and his gal, fangyin, Miss Pang and her bf and frens.. and marcus 2 swimming frens, marcus cheah and leonard. I believe thats hwo to spell haha... for bbq and then its another session of drinking again... played 'Fuck the Dealer' (a hardcore drinking game) and watch marcus cheah turn red and high ahaha.. and miss pang too.. strangely she got high way before the game started =x Haha... nicknames were given to me and joel... joel beign Merman Low since last time and Me being Liverless Zhu haha...

Played with Jed, Marcus's dog againbut somehow he is very grumpy today haha... and I played with his TENNIS BALL not his BALLS!!! haha...

Anyways, too bad marcus cheah had to leave early with leonard, cos I m quite sure there wld be another merman soon =x haha he is very suay in the game sia.. keep kena drinks ahhaa... I wasnt exactly heng but wasnt suay either... so ya.. another drinking galore...

This year we didnt get to see fireworks as we didnt went up the rooftop.. =( awww and the movie picked for the night was Just Married, didnt exactly finished the whole movie as Joel and his gal and me left early. Managed to say hi and bye to Fang Yin's gf before we left.. haha

Its was really fun to be with them again sia.. really ennjoyed myself last night =D We need to do this things more often!! Oops I dont mean the drinking =x haha, but yea the drinking too haha...

Ok thats all for now~
-ShawnZ-

Dreaming of....

2008-12-29T14:38:00.003+08:00

Hmmm seems like I only like posting in camp huh? Always only blog when I m in bunk haha, this time, is in my Ex Bunk.. de current 1 ah.. haiiz... com down, fan spoilt, drawer spoilt, 1 ddead bird outside my window.. wth.. this sux....

Anyways, got my wish, a commando buddy woo hoo!! Some1 to help w my field bag load!! =x Ooops~ In addition, as I mentioned earlier, I am having a new section instructor, and this new section instructor is also a good one!1 =D weee~~ Not the super strict, fierce one hahaha~~ Cooool~~ So ya, 2 'hopes' came true~

But oso got suay la.. kena pick as the seniors to initiate de new cadets.. haiyo... wtf la... staying back this weekend =( sobs sobs~~ Stupid.... suay sia..... Now currently waiting for my next lesson I mean activity... 11km run, for me is 10.. but anyways... I m feeeling SOoooooOOooooo sleepy but cannot slp cos work in progress in my bunk.. the fan thing... I wanna slp =(...

Till next time~

Indulgence in the Beauty of the Midnight Eclipse
-ShawnZ-

Somethings u jus cant 4get...

2008-12-23T20:12:00.004+08:00

Hmmm its been 3 mths since I came into OCS, tonight will be my 24km followed by my senior bar presentation... saw a feel famillar faces from poly and sec sch... joing in as new cadets... haiz didnt realise time passes so fast, yet so slow both AT THE SAME TIME. Ironic huh??

Hmmm had my PC interview today, accidentally saw LTA Shaiful letter to be posted out of ocs to unit.. was damn sad... why sia... when finally there is sth worth staying in golf wing for.. he is liek de best instructor anyone could have... patient, understanding, defending of his own cadets, like de 'cool' guy who knows everything and like perfect... wait a minute, I m not inlove with him for your info... i mean he is like a 'Perfect Dad' anyone cld ask for.. but now he is leaving??? Dont know how i wld be able to survive... haiz... :( damn sad... damn sad..

Speaking of dads.. haiz problems problems... I really am confused abt my life... I really cant even think coherently....

ok it started w my dad having a china gf, ok fine i get over that stage... but it turn out that they got married behind my back, shocking? yes, but still i close one eye... den now my father wans to pay for her daughter's studuies using my sis money?? WTH?!?!?! if she is willing to study, fine I dont mine forking with lots of pains... but yea i dont mind.. but now is SHE herself dont wanna help herself, wan go good sch, dont wanna take de test to see if she is good ebnuff to enter, she's 18 and wan go sec sch??? Dont wan go ITE, reason for dont want take de test is becos wan go hols.. frick that piece of shyt she go brain in her head mans... wat she thinking? We her servants isit?? She princess isit? BITCH!

Den cos my sis say my uncle seems to liek dislike us staying there... and now maybe wans to move out and rent a place on our own.... BUT my sis and I will chipin for the rent AND, that 2 china bitches will be staying with us??? wth!! I hate her daughter alrdy and I've nvr even met her!! Fricking steal away my dad's attention from me!!! GRGHHHHHHHHHHHH *#$)*&@##)#*#)&#&^*

yea... I think OCS is bad for my health.. ever since upon entering... problems keep popping out... dont know if I can take it any longer... plus now my dog, has abit of rashes/red spots popping out... so scared need bring to vets, cos I know skin prob cant be treated in such a short time and its damn exp to treat... argh!! !WHY!! Someone up dere seriously hates me... I think... and yup thru msn my sis says my dog is vomitting? God WHY GOD!!!!!

I am really mentally damn stress... frens, barely get to see them, de damn close ones, havent been seeing them since coming in ocs.. yea u will be thinking wta kind of close frens are these... and I really dont know how to ans.. family, part of the problems come from them... I GOT NO ONE ELSE LEFT TO TURN TO BUT TO BOTTLE IT OUT!! If only this blog is alive.. maybe can give me advice on my life since I have been spilling so much things to it... How I wish I can be trapped away in virtual reality and escape all these probs but then again I prolly will have new probs inside dere goi ng by how things are proceeding..

Had my interview w my sect instr who told me I am jus an avg joe in the wing and sinc eI m a reg, I shld be abv avg... I M SICK OF THIS ALRDY OK!!! IF I HAD KNOWN IT WLD BE SO MUCH HASSLE I WLDNT HAD SIGNED THAT FRICKING PAPER!!

PLS STOP PRESSURISING ME, STOP MENTALLY TORMENTING ME WITH ALL THESE PROBLEMS!!! AND PPL ASK ME WHY MY NICKS ALWAYS SO EMO.. tell me.. whats there NOT to be emo abt... zzz haiz

The birds has it easy, all they have to do is Fly away,
-ShawnZ-

Its a Bad Scare >.<

2008-12-17T15:15:00.003+08:00

Went to report sick for 2 things today. 1st is a stiff neck, ever since after OCCT on monday, next is bleeding gums ever since after exercise scorpion king.

The stiff neck turns out to not be an ordinary neck ache, but its actually my lymph nodes around that area enlarged, which cause the pain and stiffness. Given antibiotics and paracetemol for dat and becos I went to the MO 1st, he wants to be xtra safe that the bleeding is not cos by a bleeding disorder, and thus, 10 precious ml of blood was drawn from me. I hate needles -.- Thru -out the whole blood drawing process I was such a pussy, My whole body stiffen and froze up while the medics kept trying to calm me down all cept 1, de one drawing blood. He keep trying to make me nervous haha... in a funny way, for e,.g, keep syaing its his 1st time drawing blood and keep saying that the needle is gonna break... wth... and dat was very stimulating sia.. woots! -_-

That wasn't the killer... the killer was after dat I went to see de dental officer.. THAT is the real murder!! ANyways, it goes like this... I went in for bleeding gums and the dentist said is dued to unhealthy gums+dirty teeth. So he offered to do cleaning for me, and asked me to maintain, I was like phew, glad was nth much. Den he warned me said it wld be painful and asked me to bear with it. In my mind, I was like thinking, :" wtf? think this my 1st time come dentist meh? Aiya the bit of pain is nth 1 la!!" in de end I was super, SUPER SUPER SUPER wrong! The pain is EXCRUCIATING!! The injured gums area, he oso poked the dental scaling thing in to clean and almost every space between the teeth and gums he oso poke it in. I from 3 bleeding spots in my mouth to EVERYWHERE bleed... damn painful, I cannot imagine or describe the feeling then. I really teared, and my whole body went stiff,and wishes to kick off but can't.... lest I would be more injured... and the dentist kept trying to calm me down asking me to relax all this while.. haha...its like scraping off dirt on ur oepn wound kind of pain... with no anesthesia, I almost choked on my own saliva and water as the water filter tube like not working very well...

He even recommended a softer toothbrush, Systema... nvr heard of it be4... hmmm shall try guardian, watsons to see if they have it... this bookout that is...

Today is seriously a painful day for me sia, blood drawn, a super painful dental cleaning.... >.<

Indulgence in the Beauty of the Midnight Eclipse
-ShawnZ-

Disturbed-ia

2008-12-15T15:58:00.003+08:00

Back in camp again after a damn short, and I do mean short weekend break. Bookout and reach home 11pm+++ on Sat nite and to book in by 2200hrs on Sun nite. Didnt get to do much, cept shopped in Bugis tentatively finding a shirt for Social Nite this thurs which I am SOOOOOO looking forward to =)

Every step i take in the mall, every level I go, I just cant help but think of the times I went there with my frens, my very 2 close jie jies... joking abt, browsing in all de stores, monkeying and laughing all about... now, dont say go shopping tgt, we havent even SEEN each otther ev er since I came in OCS, which has been about... 12 weeks? Yes thats how long it has been... why, what happened?? I seriously missed those times, and those where we always go cine together, watch movies, common topics to talk about *hem hem* =p, and as usual joking about... Now, its more barren than an infertile land. Like the song goes, "How could this happen to me? " Seriously, I really dont know what happen.

Cant get them over the phone, even if I do, after awhile needa hang up, or else is arrange to meet le, last min cancel out on me... haiz... WHY WHY WHY!!!! I just wanna relieve the past... =(

Wonders if this could be the contributing factor why I am not happy in OCS, not bonding with the platoon enough... and now things are worst, I do not have a buddy.. yes alone, =(

Social night Social night~ Though I very loser bring my sis along, but its better den date-less eh =D Looking foward to the food, the resting then, and of course the long bookout after that ^^ Hope everythings goes well till then... Oh yea, hopefully no guard duties, Cdo/CDS then or Xmas eve... Cos I wan go for a Xmas party seriously!! Anyone throwing Xmas parties where I can go to?? =D Hee...

Indulgence in the Beauty of the Midnight Eclipse
-ShawnZ-

Circus

2008-12-13T06:04:00.005+08:00

Whew, finally its over. the most xiong activity for service term, Ex Scorpion king..... is over. Done with digging shellscrapes, trenches, fighting enemies and Z monsters. Its damn tough to the physical and mental, especially since my trench was super well dug and thnx to the 30 mins rain, not only I had to re dig but the inside of the trench is super muddy everywhere I step. lean, sit, support on, its soft and squishy and gluey and yes of course, GROSS!!

Then theres also de 'No sleeping' rulle where we must ALL be alert for 'enemy' atks. So glad that its all over. Now blogging back in wingline, bidding farewell to my buddy whom ooc-ed and now leaving de bunk.. haiz... buddy-less... hope pro term I get A Commando Buddy!! =D haha...

Currently staying back in wingline to do lots of sai gang for this batch of commisiioning officers.. carry stuffs... move stuffs... worst of all is mus wait till de end of the whole parade oso which might end arnd.. 9pm? ya.. can onyl bookout after that and book in for nxt day will be at arnd 10pm. Wth... haiz.. I got shopping to do !!! I need buy a new pair of shir tfor social night, some xmas pressies, and others!! Argh!!!and de only day left for shopping for social night is this week, which is tmr! grgh... Oh yea, have to bring back some muddy clothes home to wash too -.- aiyo aiyo!!

Currently love this song by Britney Spears, Circus. De quality I dled is lousy sia.. nvm go home dl again. And sian la, my songs all wiped out from my comp, my mp3, cos stupid ipod can only sync to one itunes, den when de itunes gone and need re-dl, in de end mus re sync so de songs all gone oso zzz -_- frick it!

So... any nice songs, pls send me ;p haha THNX!!

Indulgence in the beauty of the Midnight Eclipse
-ShawnZ-

*****

2008-12-02T17:53:00.004+08:00

I know its damn wierd I posted 2 times in a day. Ya but, seriously mus let this out. I have enough. Jus return from my PC interview, seems like as expected, my plt doesn't like me.. haha... it seems I appear on way too many Btm fives. saying I m not a team player?? When I was from waterpolo TEAM??? Ah fak it. Wat makes me more pissed is ppl say I wayang in front of instructors and not doing things? All talk but no action. Frick it, I jus dont see de point in me doing things and banging pots and pans while doing it. Haiz, maybe its jus a series of wrong choices, maybe I shld had chose sispec? I dont know.

Its also super irritating to know that ppl who really are the ones who are slacking, but becos know how to fake things, can get pass this btm five thing, ok, this btm 5 is basically a peer appraisal fyi. Yea in other words, I FAILED my peer appraisal.

Really sick liao la, sick of such things,Ppl say i wayang, No PR, serious attitude problem, all talk but no action, selfish, dont help... aiya sian.. wat happened to me? I really dont know if its me dat has changed, or if ppl hasnt really see me in depth. Wat isit? Can some1 tell me? guide me? I'm really confused..... Its also not helping when instructors keep expecting more from me since I have signed on. Maybe I shldnt sign on after all.. Maybe even this post is a mistake. My life has been a mistake to begin with. Den again, maybe I m jus too overly sensitive? I doubt so.

Trapped in a Whirlpool of Mistakes and Confusions
-ShawnZ-

Beep We are currently experiencing technical difficulties.Beep*

2008-12-02T12:08:00.004+08:00

Return from camp to learn that my comp crashed again -_- Wth... Gave up repairing le, ask my sis's fren to build up a new one, thankfully now can get cheaper due to... sytex? frick it, dont know how to spell. So yea, currently another weekend with no comp, currently blogging in camp la with so many exciting days past den can blog abt it. For e.g, Sat nite went Double O, O bar with my OCS frens, Roche, Gabriel, Matthew, Ashley, Marcus, Brandon, Joe, Nicholas and yea CUi peng, Sean Pea, Aaron and more I guess.. Sorry for those whom I did not mention, I was too seh to recognise anyone else more.. haha... Drank alot sia.. 1st while waiting I down a whole jug of Vodka Ribena and After I finished dat Roche de alcoholic wouldnt let anyone stop so he bought Vodka red bull and insist that we share it, so yea, more alcohol. After most of us came, we went up to double O and drink somemore. -_- We drank 1 Flaming Lambo, 2 tequila shots.... seh seh seh sia!! And den we party it away dancing!! Marcus was so into the girls Gabriel brought along haha... but the girls has the Hots for Matthew~

Went back off about 3++ in the morning, and yea, before we left Matthew left a memento for Double O, A puke. =p Shared cab home with Matthew and Brandon.

Spent my whole sunday at home and ya monday too, lazy to go out, and no money, spend my days at home watching my sis downloaded videos before her own comp crashed and lucky she burnt the shows alrdy.

We suffering mechanical disasters, my comp, my sis laptop, my vcd player all down =( Wth.......

Yea I suppose its time i need to change the header of my blog... still 2007 lolx... prolly need prepare for 2009 liao la.. ok ok, shall change it during the next bookout if I can on my comp... IF i have one... Hopefully these four days pass by quickly.. I am homesick alrdy =( "I'm just too far, from where U are, i wanna go Home~~" Yea this song is currently playing on my buddy's Nicholas's mp3 -_- wat a coincidence...

I'm feeling so damn emo now...like being thrown into a cold dried well with rain pouring in, de only light above is so far away and its getting blocked up by the dark clouds.. so cold and lonely, if only a warm hand can pull me out of this misery and to find myself embrace in the warmth of the hug.... Frick!!

Indulgence in the Midnight Eclipse
-ShawnZ-

Its a Scare, its a Nightmare!!

2008-11-26T19:39:00.004+08:00

Wah almost had to serve RCP due to some sort of losing a equipment. In the first place I didnt really lose it as its someone accidentally took mine by mistake. Was so frantic to learn that it was missing, especially for this week. Its my finally long awaited LONG WEEKEND!! IMAGINE STAYING BACK ON A LONG WEEKEND!! I WILL CRY!! During the whole time I wish it was jus a dream where I can close my eyes and open again to realise its jus all a nightmare. Thankfully it is found... Now I get to book out!! I suppose... we shall see, 2 and a half more days to go =D~ I wanna Book Out~ I wanna book out~~

Hmmm... Sat, Sun, Mon and Tues half day~~ =D Woots wooooooooooooooots~ I wanna have fun and party~ My plt had plans to go double O on sat... hmmm... Tempting to go sia, oh shucks I shall go if they really going, Hadn't touch alcohol for god knows how long sia... Now for sun and mon hmm...

Wan to spend more time w Vodka, my dog, not the alcohol, ever since coem in OCS, I miss him so much!! Every book out I look foward to seeing him running towards me and jumping up and down on his 2 hind legs trying to lick my face de moment I reach home =D So damn CUTE!! OMG, I m turning to a freak!! Others look foward to seeing their GFs and I m looking foward to seeing my dog?!?!? Haha...

Few more weeks and we'll be thru with Service Term... SISPEC crossovers coming in this sat.. hmm...

Thats all for now, till de nxt =D

Indulgence in the Midnight Eclipse,
-ShawnZ-

Tough time dont last, they just stay forever.

2008-11-16T19:06:00.002+08:00

Feeling very down and depressed lately... So many Wrong turns, so many bad lucks, that I can hardly see any bright side all around.

My comp jus crashed, and I do mean Crashed. The hard disk is beyond reformat or repair. Now my songs, pictures, datas, documents, all wipe out... Its like part of my life being wipe out. My memories.... the happy times... =( Sorrow sorrow sorrow....

Currently in camp, waiting for tml 2 days 1 night field camp.. haiz.... cant wait to go home, cant bear to leave home... I really miss Vodka...although I jus saw him like 3 hours ago? Haizzzzzzzzzz...

Feeling so down , so down, Getting low, low low low low....I really need something to perk my spirits up manz.... Shitz........ haiz....

-ShawnZ-

Busy BZ Bee Zeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2008-11-01T18:44:00.002+08:00

So busy this bookout, have to have my hair cut =( , prepare the mission essential stuffs for my 10 days field camp in BACK in Tekong, study on some things which will be done in the 10 days... arghh wth.. busy busy busy....

A hectic life, a busy schedule.... and none for enjoyment. Haiz.... I m so scared of the field camp sia.. dont know why =( somehow i got a really really bad feeling abt it ... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I wanna scream it out loud, scream off the fear, i wan party, i wan shop, I wanna.. i wanna... i wanna.... so many wants, so little money, and times a wasting. Hope the 10 days can pass by smooothly and fast... and possibly fun. Ha! Fat hope. Bleahx.

-ShawnZ-

And woe woe woe woes...

2008-10-28T00:50:00.002+08:00

Went town alone today.. sad I know.. but haiz wat to do when... ah 4get it. Anyways, went town, saw alot of Golf Wing Warriors, 1 is my CWC who didnt see me, 1 is another platoon's ex CPC and 2 others whom I dont know whcih platoon but recognise their faces.

Bought some of the required stuffs, and bought a bag of treat and a new toy for my dog. Nothing much really for myself.... Wanted to buy a pair of NUM slippers, but de colour I like don't have my size =( Maybe I shall try the one @ Citylink de nxt bookout which is this sat...

After that caught a movie, Tropic Thunder... starring Ben Stiller. The show was avg... though its a comedy.. but somehow I dont find it as funny as House Bunny. Or it could be just me.. cos the whole theatre was laughing like crazy. Shyt sia... I think the "Blues" is finally going to consume me, one day my world wld be "Black, White and Blue". I need some Colours man... back into me, back into my life. Everything just doesnt seem as lively as funny anymore.. I am feeling so way down that its killing me softly on the inside.. I wanna scream, I wanna cry, but the voices doesnt come out.

I am living my Life back in the olden days, Black and White silent movies... I think I m falling... apart... argh... ***** No vulgar.. I resolved to... jus like I did for sth else be4, but I failed.

Anyways, enough of my nagging and enjoy this supposedly funny video of Adolf Hitler's woes.

-ShawnZ-

MMS..

2008-10-25T19:42:00.004+08:00

Argh.... dont u jus hate it when theres a time where u put so much consideration deciding before doing sth.. spent hella lot of time going thru if U shld do sth or not, and when u chose to do it. U regretted ur actions. De feeling spinning inside, its really uneasy. GRGH. De self torment where u go abt asking urself "Y de hell did I chose to do it when I know I shldnt had and will regret it in de 1st place."

Frick dat thought manz. Must be feelign all shitty becos stuck in camp unable to book out till tmr nite. Wth,

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Made a stupid resolution, finding it so hard, SOOOOOOOOOOOO hard.... to fulfil. I resolve to stop using vulgar, not even the word "Fuck". Tough eh? See, alrdy in de 2nd paragraph I couldn't help but use it.

I really hate every moment of this shitty feeling sia, I guess this is wat it means by MMS, Man Moody Sometimes. Or in simpler terms, Emo, Mo Mo Moooooooo... Yea I m getting crazy.

Just re-did one test which I failed. Others failed becos they couldnt complete de paper. I completed everything yet I still failed. Stupid, now I dont even know if I can pass or not....... Zzzzz

I need a time out, a break out, a let out wateva its called I jus wanna Standing on the rooftop letting U scream ur heart out! Standing on the rooftop.... haiz....

Argh I m having a headache rite now, not the painful kind but the irritated kind #$)*&#*(#$()@*$@#)&@#$&@#()$*@#)4893285^

$*)#&^@^$%@#&^#@*^#@$&()@#$&*)#@)*(*$#_28)$&*@#($&@#()$*@#(*#)@8423098

-ShawnZ-

Spiralling... Spiralling...

2008-10-23T21:29:00.002+08:00

Been such a hectic week these few days... actually last week too... So many tests so many RUNS omg.... my leg is becoming Jelly... Thankfully I got a GOLD for the recent IPPT, no need do any RT during weekends.. phew.... I wanna rest sia... so tired... tml got another 8km run omg...
mentally physically tired sia...

Anyways... Though not having much income left after spending on foodstuffs, my MP3 charger and adapter which costs me like $45... -_- and de charger $20 and also this speaker... $40... chap pa lang brand but still... not bad... quite good and loud... anyways I was saying.. tho no much money left... I still wanna go out and spend Spend SPEND!!!! I WANNA GO OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Watched House Bunny de other bookout, damn funny and wth a typical 'Blonde' movie. If u had watched legally blonde u're understand. To them the world is full of flowers, butterflies and everything nice and sweet, oh yea, pink too. Hate to say it, I like this type of movies =p haha Shit sound like a GIRL!!!

I also wanted to watch disaster movie... alrdy expired in theatres... =( VCD not out yet ARGH!!!! I WANNA WATCH THIS TYPE OF LAME STUPID COMEDIES!! =x I am a big fan and a sucker for comedies, jio me out for one anytime!!!

Gotta go check on my Laundry in the dryer, too doos~
P.S. Yea I m still in OCS, and yes they have washign machine and dryers here.

-ShawnZ-

To Follow or Not to Follow...

2008-10-17T21:38:00.002+08:00

Stuck in the crossroad of decision... have to decide which step to take..

After ytd incident happen in camp, I realise my platoon's thinking and mine is very apart... Unlike in Cougar platoon 1 where everybody has almost de same mindset... how did Sgt Hari did it sia... he united our minds and sychronised our thinking...

U see, my current platoon, dont believe in standards, they jus wan fun... really very low discipline... when they get punish, they really unhappy.. and it seems that only i feel we deserve punishment... thru this incident, I have 2 choices, stand firm to my integrity and lose frenss make enemies... or.... if u cant beat them, join them, compromise my standard and integrity and join them.... frick.... how to decide... If only theres a way to make everybody really agreee to my thinking.. somehow..

Tmr is book out day... dont know what to do... I need a Life... I wana go shopping... =/ my hair's growing so slow >.<>

-ShawnZ-

Next Plane Home?

2008-10-05T12:01:00.003+08:00

Yeah, this is a new song by Daniel Powter, not exactly new, but still its nice... Still in OCS... Somehow I feel much further from Singapore than in Tekong... somehow its harder to communicate w frens in here den in Tekong.. Cant contact them at all, either call no ans, sms no reply, and watever fucked shit. Somehow I feel a distance being formed, increasingly.. I hate this feeling, it sucks.

Today is the Family Visit day, ya my father will be coming, my sis (I think), and den invited some frens, some cancelled out, 1 said yes, but den I havent even mention anything else like, place/time to meet etc etc.. and I cant contact her @ all.. irritating la... and TODAY is the day Zzzzz -__- ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH fuck it, everything sux.

Anyways, yea still copign in OCS, got IPPT gold for the Categorisation test, everyday is so tiring, but I'll survive. Had my navigation course ytd and yup seen the Famous Peng Kang Hill, lucky jus went dere see, not go dere run up and down haha....

Cant wait for nxt book out, tho dont know what I'll be doing, who to go out with, argh so many movies I wanna watch!! "House bunny", "disaster movie", dont know still have or not, and almost all the comedies now showing!!! but so little time...

And finally, I miss my Dog, Vodka.. =(
-ShawnZ-

I'm scared...

2008-09-21T19:20:00.004+08:00

So dere it is, the end of Block Leave and will be the start of a new training. Not sure if I'm ready for all those physicals, mentals, all the early revellies, all the new turn outs and lets not forget all the water parades all over again. Tho it has only been a short 1 week plus break, but it sure soften my physicals and of course mentals. I m really so... hmm nua now.... I sure hope I can raise back my morale and fighting spirit be4 I land myself in trouble...

Looking back, on what I've done these past few days, no physicals, late lights out, late revellie and many more... I prolly suffer if I book in to camp with these. Thinking of 3 wks confinement and 3 mths hell, am I rdy? Its like a whole new extended BMTC all over again, the diff - I dont think they will ever go easy on us at ANY time. The feeling of fear starts to envelope me as I struggle to think for the better each time. I dont wanna give up, I wanna commision, I wanna do my family proud, I wan them to come to the parade, was what I thought everytime, but wld it keep me going on, or will there be 1 time I will "Shag, cannot think" ? I m seriously so worried..

With this struggle, to ensure that I will not reach the stage where dat thinking will not be able to keep me going on, I plan to bring my photos of my family in, but guess wat?? I dont have any recent photos of my family together, is dis the mark of the start of a family slowly tearing apart?

Come to thiink of it, the last time we ever sat down tgt to eat and talk as a family.. was prolly the 2 am supper which I strongly requested one time a few weeks ago? which of course they did complain on the time, but do they see de meaning of me wanting to do it? Heaven knows.

Now I jus wanna print out some older photos, and the damn faking printer have to run out of ink now, wtf? Is dis on purpose or is dis an omen. Grgh I need to get rid of all this superstitions be4 booking in..... -_-

This blog shall cease new posting for the next 3 wks. SOrry for the inconvenience caused.

-ShawnZ-

POP pics

2008-09-12T16:30:00.020+08:00

As I promised,Getting ready for the BMTC war cryCougar Platoon 1!!The Private...The Private and his DadThe two guys who is always Smiling :) Matthew and Me!!

Melayu Gang!! From Left: Abdillah, Firdaus and HafizHenry, Joel and MeMy Platoon Sergeant/Section commander 2SG Hari and MeBrian the Platoon 2nd Best!My Buddy, GabrwynCocksters!!My platoon commander 2LT AnshulCOugar Plt 1 Sect 1!!Dont U jus realise, our 2SG Hari always show the same serious face in all pics? Haha..Clockwise: Joe, Matthew, MeBenjamin Siao On and Me!!Ok 2 cockster face, Joseph and Me haha, Man Of Valour!! =x

Ok thats all for pics,

-ShawnZ-

Merry POPpins~

2008-09-10T21:01:00.003+08:00

POP lo~ Finally Passed out from BMTC, Proud to pass out as a Cougar warr!! Best of all Platoon 1!! Yea!! Tho not the platoon best, but a 3rd in platoon is better den nth =D Ok abit show off here.. =x

A mixed feeling before the parade, can feel the joy, excitement, fear of making the contigent look bad, the anxiety and of course there is a tinge of sadness... I am gonna miss the my platoon mates =( and nevertheless, the SGTS and Officers!! Of course I'll miss the platoon 1 commanders, however surprisingly I will miss SGT Eric of Platoon 2 too, tho we hardly ever sat down as much as our sect comm to chat, and everytime he talks to me, he wld pull my ears at least once, or get some1 to pull it for him... haha...

I still rem when we 1st enter BMTC, so vividly, all the blur cocks navigating around like country bumpkins, and also the "kind " commanders. However as time passes, the mask starts to peel off and we see the Faces of the commanders. I still rem at one period of time we were suffering under SGT Hari's training and we told our PC abt it as a whole. ANd his reply was, " U can complain abt SGT Hari now, but when POP u will realise how much he is helping u. IN fact previous batches always votes for him as the Best Commander." Right after was our strong objections and protests. And then ironically, unknowingly, 2 days ago when we were suppose to write down who we felt was the best commander, and obviously, SGT Hari won with a landslide.

Its so strange how a mere 9 weeks can change one's thinking so much, one's fitness and many more. Thinking abt all the things that happen, the tough ttraining, the happy moments, the shag moments, and while marching I saw my father at the grand stand, I almost couldn't hold back my tears of pride and joy. I could feel the tears about to force its way out of my eye sockets when the RO was rambling abt her speech. Then when our parents came down to put on the jockey caps for us, I feel a sudden burst of Pride, so much that, I am looking so foward to the BMTC War CRy and was shouting it with the top of my lungs, thats how proud I was!!

Soon after was picture time!! (Pictures will be uploaded shortly)
and then was departure. Gonna go out drinking with the platoon (well almost, some will not be joining) and hopefully the SGTs. Talk Cock Session!! Updates soon!!

-ShawnZ-

Dogs alert!!

2008-08-23T22:23:00.015+08:00

Went to a cafe cater for both dogs and human, " Urban Pooch" is the name if I am not wrong... with Jess and her Toy poodle, Belle, Sam and his Shih Tzu, Cherry, Sam's 2nd Sis's Fren and her Mini Schnauzer, didn't really catch its name, and my Jack Russell Corgi cross, Vodka and me.

The food for humans, not bad, depending on what u order, portions could be a little bit more too.. I'll rate it 3/5

For dogs, choices quite limited, but the other dogs who went alogn doesn't very seem enthusiastic about the food, although my dog is digging into it liek crazy, but my dog is a greedy pig so its not a good judge. 1 out of the 4 dogs seems to be interested in the food.. so 1/4

Entertainment wise, there were some games catered for the owners, very limited though, There is the Aeroplane board game (Fei Ji Qi), Standard poker cards, boggle, Connect 4 and i think there is any more others... Played a round of the aeroplane game with Jess and Sam and I was seriously thrashed sia... No luck in getting '6' =(

There is also like a 'Dog playground' directly beside the cafe, well, jus a size of 1/2 a normal shop, inside is jus like a big playpen where owners can leave their dogs inside while enjoying their meals. They also use that area to do Dog care services where owners leave their dogs for them to look after for the day while the owners go do their own things, not sure how isit charged though.. anyways I brought Vodka there jus to mingle around with the other dogs, well, Vodka is abit... very afriad of crowds haha... always runnign from them and to me while the other dogs seems very enthusiastic to know him especially this very cute and active golden retriever puppy haha..

Ok... time to let pictures do the talking =)

We Love and Pamper our Dogs!!! =DStanley playing "Hand/Paw" with Vodka"Hey! Where's the food u promised us!"From Left, Cherry, Belle and Vodka
"Hmm who is this stranger, lets go meet him""Keep them away, Keep them away!""They're still coming... Leave me alone =( ""Not the butt!! Its sensitive!!"

Ok thats all for today's post, till the next one

-ShawnZ-

Its Good to be Back..

2008-08-16T08:46:00.002+08:00

Hmm there's 2 diff meanings to my post, 1st is, its good to be back online, tho not officially, but soon it shld be.. after such a long time not being online, i am so behind my animes.... and also behind in my updates of songs, tho i still cant download now, but soon, soon, soon u see haha...

Another meaning is, its good to be back in urban areas!! Jus came back from my 6 days field camp out in the forested area, no bathing, combat rations, tedious trianing under de sun, and of course, DIRTY SMELLY CLOTHES WHICH I SIMPLY CANNOT STAND TO PUT ON EVERY MORNING!!!!
Very interesting experience, once in a lifetime, u get to bond so well in a platoon haha... train hard together, kena fucked together by superiors, being shagged together and complaining together haha... hmm and of course a very interesting experience u seldom get to see, one night in my basha tent, my buddy woke me up to see a fricking big wild boar eating a ration of another basha which is directly diagonal to mine, that fricking big ass and noisy grunting haha... I heard 1 wild boar tried to steal some1's LBV and Field pack, haha so hilarious....

Hmm but the worst has yet to come, because next week is my SIT test, its back to the jjungle for another 3 days =( and I am so afriad I cant do well in it, I wanna go command school =( I wanna be a SGT!! Haha.. then its my turn to tekan recruits.. OoOOoOps u did not just see that =x

-ShawnZ-

Break all mirrors!!

2008-07-26T09:09:00.003+08:00

Just booked out ytd after 2 weeks confinement, 2 nights of not sleeping in cages(Mosquito nets). 2 days of not waking up to tedious PTs. 2 days of not "Doubling" from point to point. 2 days of eating anything, anytime I want. Most importantly, 2 days of SHOPPING!! Wahahahah...

I miss my hair... Seriously, Not the curly bangs tho. But its better then being botak!! I look like a monkey/ monk!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So lucky of me, tmr is my dog's 1st birthday and I get to celebrate with him =) Bought him a little birthday pressy de other day, will give it to him tmr. Hope he likes it!

I m so going to enjoy my weekend while I can, cos with the PS I m having, confinement shld be easily distributed. No one seems to be able to meet his expectations. We are all "Fucking Fucked up Chee Byes" to him. Yes he always calling us that. Its going to be a tougher 7 more weeks... =(

I'll Fight and Defend, Keep holding on.. Cause I'll make it through
Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On
-ShawnZ-

Dont Fall on the Floor...

2008-07-04T23:30:00.002+08:00

Wasnt able to squeeze this video in to the last post.. so a sepearate post.. and to u ppl out dere... Dont fall on the floor.. Laughing.. =x

-ShawnZ-

It goes to dogs too...

2008-07-04T21:22:00.004+08:00

Well I guess everybody have their up and downs, regardless of age, sex, and even species. Caught my Dog emo-ing today. So sad.. hide under the sofa, dotn want to come out, jus sitting there staring in space with sadness in his eyes. Usually if I were to walk past and go towards the kitchen or room he wld chase after. But he jus stayed under the sofa.. So sssssssssssssssaaaaaaaddddddddddd.... =(

"Even the best falls down sometimes, even the stars refuse to shine." Howie day - Collide.

Just finished learning cube from Sam the pro. phew.. Not able to solve a cube as fast as him, but at least I am able to solve it quite ok now! =) Well currently Sam won 1st prize in the rubik cube's challenge organised by TP, his timing was the best and no one came close!! Ok, am i exaggerating? Dont think so right.. correct me if I m wrong....

Yup, going NS in a few days time... and yup, stuffs not packed, but I guess everything i need is prepared? not sure.. sux sux sux haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Browsed thru Youtube(again..) found this very cute Music Video of a very old old old old old song... but this is the modern version =x and look at the dance!! SO cute!!! haha so Hip Hop!!

And this is of a video of a song by Jonas Brother, cute music Video and great song!!

Enjoy the vids, and till the nxt post =)

-ShawnZ-

Fell..

2008-06-23T23:38:00.004+08:00

"I fell, and managed to stand. Now I fall again, but I am too afraid to stand up, lest I will fall again. Just lEave me lying..."

Went to eat botak jones with Joel and his Friend, Shawn, at bedok. The fish & chips is yum and the Cajun chicken.. yum.. the chicken breast meat is as soft and juicy as thigh meat.. but was super full after eating... shld had just ordered the reg instead of large haha.... *Burps*

Good food, Price ok.. and best of all.. the Menu has jokes!! Haha... Quite alot.. but I jus include some short ones here.. for example, " What do u call a smart Blonde? A: a Golden Retriever!" Haha!! another one : "What's the difference between a new spouse and a dog? A: After a year, a dog is still excited to see you!" LOLX... and many more inside..

I was so full from the meal that I still didnt eat anything since 4pm++ I finished that meal.. so full sia.. I think I am losing my stomach size... been eating lesser... hmm no.. irregular appetite.. somethimes wan eat alot.. sometimes totally no appetite.. Haiz pregnancy? =x kidding. Haha...

Losing so many things lately... losing my mind... losing my money... ok not losing.. I m spending too much haha... losing confidence.. losing my fitness in my polo game.. etc.. and soon I'll be losing my hair!! And also,"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend." That "Friend" knows wat I'm talking abt.. and some other frens do know wat I'm talking abt. We totally lost contact with each other, no more smses, no more meeting to go out together, not even msn-ing each other. Used to be so close and talked alot.. now its like a unable to conceive lady's uterus. Empty. Barren. Pumpkin with no seeds. A desert land.

Seriously, where did I go wrong? Argh!! Frick, frick, frick on a stick and a 2 ton brick. I so hate the feeling of lost, especially the feeling of losing a special some1... Its excruciating... I thought I got over it... but who am I kidding.. deep down inside the pain will always be there.. the scar might had fully recover, but the pain that once dere will always be dere. Like guilt, u can never get rid of it watever u do....

Ok enough of another lengthy post.. Here is a song, so damn sad.. actually if u do a search, all his song are almost as sad... anyways.. this song is currently in 987 fm charts.. great sentimental song... Though this version on my post is so great to hear.. but I downloaded a better quality one =) Msn me if u want it...

fall for you - secondhand serenade

Single, Available, Desperate - S.A.D.

-ShawnZ-

the tough will last..

2008-06-07T23:42:00.003+08:00

Some1 told me, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going... wat if... I am not tough, never was... and never will be.....
Yes, no one said it was easy, but no one ever mentioned to me it was this difficult!!

I dont wan to face each day as it passes by... Growing is such a pain, I dont wanna grow up... I looked back to the times where as kids we were jus carefree, careless and well, problems free other then de usual exam pressure. Sure, we were not in control of our own lives, but jus think, when we were much younger, everything was so easy and simple. Mistakes were minor, adults were at ur commands, so they complains abt u waking them in the middle of the night jus to serve u some milk. But, from wat I had learnt thru my almost 20 years of life, its NOT my problem.

Back were those days, when a simple "Daddy, Papa, Mummy, Mama" comes blurted out unclear from my mouth, will bring smiles, joys, praises from my parents. But now? They demand perfect scores, perfect everything, dont they know, I'm not and never will be perfect?

Back were those days when both my parents still together, I still have a Mummy and a Daddy, where if I was in any pain or sadness, i could jus cry out. Now, I dont have a Mummy, but prolly my younger "stepsister?" have her? Yes I m jealous.

I m jealous of everything, cos my favourite colour's green. I'm jealous of the baby, who get showered with attention anytime of the day, jealous of the people who always gets better things. Jealous of why I wasn't so blessed with looks, wealth, riches, blah blah blah. Jealous of people who gets secret lovey dovey smses/calls from their sweethearts, honey, darling, dear, wateva.

I sure look foward to the day I can put Your pic as my hp wallpaper/screensaver. If only it will come.. at all. Dont feel disgusted, dont everybody wish for something like dat?

Happiness is jus so vague now. A simple toy used to make one on cloud nine. Now nothing seems satisfactory. One jus demand more, jus like a married man wans another mistress and another after dat. A relationship is not as simple as it used to be. People wants riches, if not, looks or a hot body, either from self or from the other partner. Asking for more, for the same results. Just like an antibiotic fighting against infections, increasing dosages to achieve the same result.

This is a fricking long post, if u made it to here, congrats.If u hop away before u reached here, well Jus Frick Off. If u skipped bulks away and scroll down here, Dont be lazy, just read the entire post. U wasted years living ur life, wats another few minutes to jus stop to read and think abt it?

I m not being rude, Jus str8foward. Likewise, I m not emo or depressed, I am jus ... clearly not myself, or being my true self? Doesnt matter.

Cant believe time is passing by ever so fast... I miss my past... I am having seperation anxiety, from my past. I dont wanna grow up, I wanna be a kid, I dont wan to make decisions, I wan to be pampered, I wan to be spoilt, I wan to be easily happy, I wan to... I wan to....

Relinquish the past...

But it will never be the same again..

-shawnz-

Staying in Touch, literally.

2008-06-02T20:03:00.001+08:00

Sorry for being MIA for so long. Nothing worthwhile posting unless I talk abt my work experience. Irritating clients, Dead pets, Sobbing Owners, Pets got better and discharged... and so on...

Anyways, I am back with a video, Parody of Mariah Carey's Touch my Body. Love that song, and that parody is so wrong... but its funny =) Enjoy!

-ShawnZ-

Next to you...

2008-05-12T17:52:00.002+08:00

Jess sent me this very nice song, Jordin Sparks - Next to you. I love the lyrics alot.. the music too, my favourite quote from the song is," Maybe we're friends, maybe we're more, maybe it's just my imagination." " Whatcha gotta say, whatcha gotta do, How ya get the one you want to want to get next to you?"

Anyways i gouldnt find the full version of the song only, so I just got it from Youtube, but its not a mtv, jus a the song and the lyrics made by the post-er. Some words are missign and some are wrong, but oh well, its still an effort made by him/her =) Enjoy the song... and Thnx again for the great sogn Jess!!!

I wanna get Next Tou You... But I doubt you'll see this... Thank Goodness... or Tough Luck?

-ShawnZ-

Money Money Money

2008-05-07T02:37:00.004+08:00

So tired.... Been working lately... believed most of my other mates also doing the same... i mean other den those still studying.. working all for one goal.. MONEY!!!

So sad sia.. NTU jus send me a rejection letter for my application =( At 1st I tot I was accepted but in de end it turn out to be a faux. How I wish I got moeny.. then I wld be able to go oversea study vet.. I really wan to be a Veterinarian =(

Ya, money cant buy Happiness... but can 1 be happy w/o money? They say money cant buy love, but it can trade for one.. or maybe Bribe one.. Anyways, here's a tutorial for those who dont know abt "Money" =) ENjoy!!!

-ShawnZ-

Oh My God?!?!

2008-04-26T00:39:00.019+08:00

So tired after work, Me new nick, Louie, and my Jie Jie, Debey aka Huey, went to some restaurant for some supper, jus around the corner of our workplace... wanted to go to this ice cream shop to sit down for sth but this very rude waiter, when we asked if those seats outside belong to the shop, he jus retorted back, "We closing in 20 mins" Not a sorry or wateva.. fine I m a sucker for politeness even if i knew he didnt meant it..

Anyways, we went to this other restaurant instead, "Peaberry & Pretzel" Food... average... desserts are a yum yum!! Let the pics show u~!

The Lychee Sodas, taste nice at the beginning... but towards the end... it taste like longan Drink.. somehow...3/5Yum.. the potato salad... nice~~ 4/5Seafood Broth IMO Canned Sardine

Tasted just like a Opened can of Sardine in tomato sauce + water

1/5The Carrot cake... Delish!! Cheese on top with carrot and more cheese between each layer!!

4/5!! Huey here says the top is too sweet >.> Told her it was me she dont believe =xOk here comes mine, Sorbert Trio as they call it, Going from left to right- Lychee, Mango and Strawberry.... Very nice!!! Strawberry's a bit too sweet tho...

4/5 too... Oh u get to have a choice of 3 flavours, Lychee, Passion fruit, Mango, Citron, Strawberry, coconut and choco.. if I didnt rem wrongly

And this all cost a total of $53!!!

Omg.. went home on a jerky bus that made me so nauseous...

And guess what... Upon reaching home.. my sis found my Mom's Friendster profile.. and ... she DOES go clubbing.. omg... OMG... for some yea.. u will jus think I have a hip mum, nth at all... common.. but u wldn't know that she left me and my sis 12 years ago to achieve her 'Single' Status from her ' Married w 2 kids' status... and yes I was abit jealous when I saw her taking so much pic with this girl... who either is my Mom's Niece or my Younger Sister... tho she dont look like my Mum at all... but maybe she takes after the father.. i dont know..

Anyway, I was indeed slightly jealous at the sight of their 'Mother-Daughter' activities.. den I am having w my 'Own' mum.. Oh well.. Blah... She didnt wanted us back then.. oh well...

For those curious how she look like... YES I WILL SPAM HER PROFILE!!!! I M A BITCH <.<

http://profiles.friendster.com/32524049

She was my Mum.... *note the tense used...

-Shawnz-Louie-

Better in Time..

2008-04-21T23:51:00.009+08:00

As promised ytd.. pics of my wrapped up leg... as I was whoring with my cam.. my dog came in.. so took some shots of him too and in de end only 2 shots for my foot... But all de better... dont think anyone wld be interested in pics of a bandaged leg rite...

Omg mY dog's camera shy?!?!?! Bah... thats not convincign enough, Vodka.. Try Harder!!There... much better =D Dont try to be who u're not! Prolly I shld target that sentence back at me...

Everything gets Better in Time, my Sprained Ankle, a Wound, even a Fight with ur Best Friend... I hope things really do get Better in Time.. even... the distance between.. "us"... A Love gets Better in Time... Hopefully..

Oh well, only time will tell... even if everything does not turn out as expected...
as the lyrics goes...

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time

-ShawnZ-

Wat a Day!!

2008-04-20T23:26:00.002+08:00

Went to East Coast Park, Red House, for some seafood. To have a farewell party for Dr Poon... Not everyone was present though.. Only... Dr Poon, Dr Megumi, Nora and RIcky from Katong branch, Mag, Mani, Jasmine, her bf and her son, and of course Debey and Me.

The order of the dish was sux, but de food is great!! Imagine de cold dish came last? Ok not last, 2nd last.. before the fruits.. and the Crabs came before the Fish does? ANd the vegetables halfway in the middle after a few other seafood dish...

Photos were late.. after the food, taken by Nora's cam... Wonder if I be able to get a hold of the pics somehow... Damn.. i shld had use my phone... =(

And den after that Debey treat me to one small cup of Ben & Jerry Choco Fudge Brownie I/C.. Yum.. Shit... all the fats I m going to gain from this meal >.<

Well deres the good things.. the bad thing for the day is.. i think, maybe not, I m SURE I sprained my ankle while going down the stairs to meet them... and imagine I have to limp my way to the bus stop, den all de way from one end of ECP to the other... ouch... and all the seafood... My leg is going to be so inflamed tmr xD oh well, I shall see the Senshi tmr.. since its my off day.. and prolly for the nite a few Danzens or Prednisolones =x

K thats all for today's pose, prolly tmr i can show u my "wrapped-up" foot haha...

-ShawnZ-

The Wait...

2008-04-19T18:34:00.002+08:00

Hmm received my enlistment letter... oh well 1 "wait" is over.... 2 more to go... 1 is my next pay... de other is.....

Heres some jokes for ur enjoyment... Read dat it was true from the source.. but hard to believe haha
_______________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Is this a trick question?________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was getting laid!________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:Guess.
________________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you liketo rephrase that?________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you goto?
WITNESS:Oral.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive practicing law

-Shawn-

Fuggly Foon Goos

2008-04-03T13:39:00.002+08:00

Back with another post =( I think I just got my pay today =D woots!! lolx... not alot tho.... but still enough to clear my debts and SHOPPING!! =x

Sadly part of my pay have to go to de docs... cos I m PLAQUED BY FUNGUS!! ARGH...

Dandruff... white spots... and now my back got FUNGAL INFECTION!! ARGHHHHHHHHHH yup means i wont be attending training till I recover.. Stupid.. growing fat again ~_~

My doc so good la.. she not ony gif me advise on how to treat but she oso go buy de shampoo for me.. omg so touched sia... No, not Dr Nat... lolx.. is another doc.. so good la... ok if jus try her method.. if not getting any better, its de doc's I be going... haiz....

-Shawn-

Songs of Emotions

2008-03-26T23:32:00.005+08:00

I believe everyone has songs dat will stir some feelings within ur Fist-sized hearts. Some might have 1 song that will make u think of 1 person, or multiple songs dat makes u think of multiple people, or multiple songs for 1 person. SOme even might have songs that make u sad, make u happy even without any other stimulants cept for the songs.

For me, 'First Love' - Utada Hikaru, always make me feel heartbroken and emo.. as if i really did tasted the bitterness of my first love. 'how to save a life' by the fray, usually not impacted by this song, but after watching an episode of scrubs on how this doc tried to save his patient but ended up killing all 3... this song really filled my heart w tears.. de disappointment, de taste of failure.. almost de same thing i get when i saw my mp results... Taylor Swift, Invisble, reminds me of how I am trying so hard to fit in like a wrong piece of puzzle in a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle pack.

'Save me', Corrine may reminded me of a particular person I let down, as that person sent me this song. ' With you', Chris Brown reminds me of another person, whom I miss so much.. it was the song u sang when we were at Starbucks, and also when we were sipping our Chocolate Martinis at another place...'Sorry', by Buckcherry, brings on the same effect, cos I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue, I'm sorry abt all the things I say to u, and I know I cant take it back... Colbie Caillat's Bubbly, reminds me of another person who brought abt the dark clouds in me, becos that person introduced this song to me.

P.S. Dont bother asking details of whoever those people are, I want to have my own secrets too ;) If I want to say I'll say.. so yup dats dat.

Enough with the emo, heart wrenching songs, time to bring on the Party songs!! Songs that made me want to dance.. Ashley Tisdale 'He said, She said', Kelly Rowland's ' Work', Paula De Anda 'Easy' and sometimes PCD ' Buttons'. Of cos there's more to list as I cant think of much more now haha....Feel The Groove, Bust the Moves!! =D

And den dere's songs that make me want to laugh, sad, contented at the same time, 'Milkshake' - Kelis, Baby Got Back by Sir Mix a lot, and of course Rihanna's Umbrella. These songs reminds me of my groupies whom I crapped around so much with haha.. thats y it tickles my ribs but then again, now that we moved w our lives.. prolly wld not see and crap w each other as much.. thus brings abt de sadness.

Everyone has their own versions of Happy, Sad, Emo, Dancing songs... Have u Realised urs?

-Shawn-
Love song, Sara Bareilles, Enjoy =)

a mistake from de start

2008-03-23T22:09:00.004+08:00

Sorry for not blogging all these while haha... been gaming lolx.... and on thurs jus came back from a chalet w my frens haha...

No pics to account for tho, cos WE ARE ALL CAMERA SHY!! =x haha... 1st day sux, becos I lost near $30 on mahjong.. BLEAGXXX...... sucks. 2nd day, we went arcade and played de basketball game and Me and Swee broke the record of all the machines dere!! scored 369!!! Den me and pinky scored 328 on another machine but we didnt break the record =( becos de machine's previousy score was 349 blah..but if we had played on de '245 machine'... hmm diff story =p

and den its back to de chalet for more mj-ing, dis time i dont dare play lolx and shared money w pinky to play... well we won =D but still not enuff to cover my loss...

As a standard procedure for all chalets.. there is a bbq nite... yup we grilled, crabsticks, hotdog, corn, potatoes, and melted cheese, otah, CHICKEN CURRY and CHICKEN NUGGETS. Our bbq aways have exotic stuffs lolx.. every bbq will have sth new added to it haha... and den its back home de next day... thnkfully de following day is good friday.. another off day for me be4 i start work on sat =(

I just want to be with you.
-Shawn-

Juggling Muggling

2008-03-12T00:06:00.002+08:00

Hmm as some of u might know, I am now working part time recept at my SIP place.. ya I complained alot but.. I need de money now T_T and this job gives me the weekends off.. so.. ya Cant complain much ... anyways.. quite stressful cos now i have to work even closer to Dr Nat.. cos I mus help her do lots of thigns as now i am a recept compare to being jus a Nurse or Vet Tech... so ya.. I am threading on thin ice everyday....

Morever I am trying to have a gamer life as well.. been playign Cabal by Asiasoft, I am a Force Blader!! One who wields a katana and the power of magic =D My fav type!!! Lolx... and of course they are quite speedy in actions but lose out to Bladers... so ya... I love fast fast fast!! I am very impatient 1 lolx...

Trying to have a 3rd outgoing life.. but so sorry.. I really not in the mood to party so much.. and besides.. no one asking me out.. so I have been going out w my colleagues.... or aka sisters haha...

Its tiring to try juggle, but... I WANT A LIFE!!! I NEED A LIFE!!! Oh well.... My life has ended ever since those things striked me... some of u might know wat, some of u might not... oh well... its nth worth knowing anyways... haha...

Sorry for this wordy lengthy posts... cos I might not be able to even juggle a blogging life for quite a while... ahha...

Till the nxt post,
-Shawn-

Unbreak my Heart.

2008-03-02T13:36:00.002+08:00

"Its better to have loved and lost den to never loved at all. "

Such a true statement... A quote from the show leap years. Its sad, yea, but still its true.

Love, is an essential vitamin to stay alive, no overdosage will occur
side effects? Yes plenty. Its like an addiction, once stopped u wan more and more
w/o knowing u're hooked for life. U thought u got over de addiction sometimes, but deep down
U craved, U schemed, U begged. Jus to have even de tiniest bit of it.
But when u got that tiny bit, u wan more. Its like 'Pepsi' Asking for more, but de difference is u cant jus get it from any convenience store or from anyone for dat matter. U only wan dat 'Some1' to give it to u.

However, jus like antibiotics, u get resistant to it. U become ambitious and tired of de same 1. Or prolly u jus wan another type. So 1 initiates de break of supplies while de other stay hurt.
Its more painful den having a knife pierced thru ur back and realising its ur best fren. No, it hurts more den dat. U try to cry, but u cant. U try to stop ur tears, but it flows continuously; dat u have to lie to others dat de reason u're crying is becos of that sad drama u jus watched hours ago.

Jus when u thought it was over, but its not. U thought u finally found some1 to give u those vitamins. But u're wrong. It wasnt for u. Cos the other party isnt rdy to supply it. Its jus, a little teaser, but u fell for it. Too deep, in fact. U thought it was a blooming and a start of a beautiful seed but it turns out otherwise.

Now u're stranded again, still hoping dats de one. Still believing lies u deceived urself with. Believing that it will happen. Jus like Mariah Carey's "When You Believe".

So shld I still believe?

-Shawn-
Unbreak my Heart, Toni Braxton

Leaping Years

2008-03-01T01:06:00.002+08:00

On this leap year, 29th Feb, I went to watch The Leap Years, starring Wong Li Lin and the lead actor of 'Shutter'. Dont rem how to spell his name tho.. sorry.

The show is very touching, tho sometimes its abit draggy and jumps abt de place, but ya, its very sweet. Shed a few tears along the way, but not because the show sux.

But its damn sad la, if I have to wait 4 yrs to see de person I love. Like I mean, every 4 yrs den u get to see de person... imagine 12 yrs see 3 times??? Omg.. can faint sia.. dont know if I have dat much patience, somemroe in between each 4 yrs totally no contact at all...

Anyways, I learnt sth from de show, Saint Bridget made 29th Feb a day where woman are allowed to ask any man they wan for a date and dat man cannot reject or he has to pay a fine. SO yea, WOMEN, GIRLS!! GO GET WILD AND HUNT UR PREY DOWN!!! =x oops... I wonder.. does it applies to Gays and Trans too.. since its asking for date from men... haha... Oh well, dere goes 2008's 29 Feb, How did u celebrate urs? =)

-Shawn-

Love me or Hate me

2008-02-27T22:48:00.003+08:00

Yeah,It's officially the biggest midget in the game.
I dunno.Make way for the S.O.V.

[Chorus (x2):]
Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.
Love me or hate me, that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!

I'm fat, I need a diet.
No, in fact I'm just too light
And I ain't got the biggest breast-s-s, but I write all the best disses.
I got hairy armpits, but I don't walk around like this.
I wear a big baggy t-shirt that hides that nasty shit.Ugh!
Never had my nails done.
Bite them down until they're numb.I
'm the one with the non-existent bum,Now I don't really give a....Ugh!
I'm missing my shepherd's pie
Like a high maintenance chick missin' her diamonds.
I'm missin' my clippers lighters.
Now bow down to your royal highness.
No I don't own a corgi,
Had a hamster, it died cause I ignored it.
Go on then, go on report me,
I'm English, try and deport me!

[Chorus (x2):]Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.
Love me or hate me, that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!

I'm that funky little monkey with the tiniest ears.
I don't like drinking fancy champy,
I'll stick wit Heineken beers.
Whoops, might burp in ya face,
A little unlady-like,
What can I say?
Well oh gosh I'm not posh, male with odd socks.
I do what I'm doing, yeah!
So everybody's entitled to opinions,
I open my mouth and shit
I got millions.I'm the middle kid, the riddle kid,
I'll make you giggle till your sick
Cause my nose jiggles while I spit.
Yeah I do have some stories
And its true I want all the glory.
Go on then, come on support me,
I'm English, try and deport me!

[Chorus (x2):]
Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.
Love me or hate me, that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!
Love me or hate me
Love me or hate me

So I can't dance and I really can't sing.I can only do one thing,
And that's be Lady Sovereign!
So I can't dance and I really can't sing.I can only do one thing,
And that's be Lady Sovereign!

[Chorus (x4):]
Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.
Love me or hate me, that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!

[x2:]Love me or hate me
Love me or hate me
Love me or hate me
I can only do one thing,
And that's be Lady Sovereign!

-Shawn-

The Human Body

2008-02-26T10:39:00.003+08:00

The Human Body is very special. Any wounds or injuries, will heal slowly overtime. The pain goes away with it too, even if a scar might remain on some occasion.
Like everyone else, my body is no difference. Even the most painful wound or injury I have, be it a cut or a burn, they'll heal overtime on its own or thru help and sometimes after awhile its as if nth even happened. Been thru lots of 'injuring' and 'healing' process all this while, too many for me to even count, and dere, I still stand as if nth ever happened. Wat if, jus wat if, I don't wish to get 'injured' anymore? Is dere a special drug to allow it? Is dere such an invention?
Though the outcome of the injury is usually good and harmless and wat others might say, "it makes u a better person", but I really cannot go thru another round of torture from injuring or the healing process. Help. Anyone?

Just some random thoughts, but its true isn't it?

-Shawn-

Just Fine.. Fine...fine..fine...

2008-02-24T21:11:00.006+08:00

Hope u enjoyed the video from de previous post :) Nope no video for this post :( but got this very great song I heard from 98.7, Work - Kelly Rowland. Take some time and listen to it, if its nice and u wan it, msn me and i'll send ;)

So many shows to watch nowadays huh? Completed quite a handful liao... but still left quite alot like... Cj7, jumper, Meet the Spartans, P.S. I Love U (Psst this one is reserved for a special some1 whom I havent found haha), Juno, L Change the world, 2 faces of my GF. So ya lo, alot rite, den deres oso de budget problem.. hmmm anyways, those hu free and also wans watch any of those mentioned, ASK ME OUT!!! =p haha.. sound so despo... Desperate HouseMan sia me... haha

And heres the song, :)

Enjoy!

-Shawn-

Funny Video haha

2008-02-22T19:45:00.001+08:00

A maid, who works for the superfriends, complaining. So damn funny haha

-Shawn-

Under De Weather

2008-02-20T22:42:00.002+08:00

Feeling Sick, went to the doc's, total cost $45 :(

Went my Aunt's hse today, saw her 2 Shih Tzu :) And of cos her delicious meal Yum Yum. Ta Pao quite alot back haha.. and wee she gave me an ang bao!! =D sorry ah dis yr receiving ang bao is a big deal to me lolx.. cos I cld not bai nian for some personal reason.

Shall not talk much, prolly de meds kicking in, can barely move my hands.. so tired... tired.. or prolly its not de meds? I dont know.. anyways, Till de nxt post.

-Shawn-

A Night Out

2008-02-17T16:57:00.003+08:00

Went training in de morning. Unfortunately, Eddee injured his leg... so didn't celebrate Gary's Bdae. Sorry to hear abt it, Eddee. Ya I was angry initially.. but so sorry for even being angry =(
Anyways, Didn't quite follow wat we had planned. I went ahead with the 2nd part of the planned celebration. And I think Gary did too since I saw him there later on... haha

All I can say is, Last nite was wonderful!! Wasn't really implying to the song =p But oh well its great too =) haha... Though I must give credits to Ash too haha...

-Shawn-

Done w U

2008-02-14T00:00:00.007+08:00

Jus finished my Poster Presentation today, which marks an end to my poly life. Which means, I m Unofficially Graduated. WHich oso means, time to write out my nxt chapter of life, shld I work, or shld i cont studies. Do really wan to study...cos i think i m not rdy for de workforce jus yet... hope to try my luck at NTU's prolly life sciences? But not sure.. with my current gpa.. and to make things worst, doubt my SIP company wld give me a good recommendation letter since the appraisal was alrdy so disastrous... Haiz...

To make things worst, 2 days ago my dog gave me a scare, became so lethargic and his gums turned very very pale.. not sure wat happened tho.. looks like poisoning, since he vommited.. but den.. de nxt day, he is bright and active again... phew..

FInally got my pay today.. but hmm the amt like abit too little? nvm I shall wait for the invoice and I shall go thru it... that is, if I still get the invoice.

Anyways, back to today, its so nice to see old friends again :) Seriously, missed the laughter in sch.. Hanqun, Jacinth, Cornie, Sandy, Jin Shun and many more to list sia!! Its great to see them all again.. but now no more schooling.. prolly go our separate ways soon... Sorry jus stating a fact. Anyways we meetign nxt mon to watch CJ7 =) Yea!! Now to find some1 to watch Kungfu Dunk with me... haha.. oh and Meet The Spartans , prolly jumper too.. shit sia so many shows and limited budget.. Really got to work!!! Haha but No Way I m going back TAC!!

Anyways heres a little song which I find it nice, and sth to suit de V'day mood tmr. And YES still another yr of Vday I be spending alone or not, prolly go out w my 2 girlfrens haha.. dat is if they not having plans on their own...
Ok enjoy the song, and ur Vday =)
-Shawn-

my 100th post

2008-02-05T20:22:00.000+08:00

So sorry, i did planned to make my 100th post a more happy 1. But I guess I am feeling so fucked up that I have to waste my 100th post bitching.

Was supposed to meet this grp of frens to GO OUT. Well that was wat i was told last week and ytd. Remembered some1 mentioning going town and prolly arnd 6 in the evenning after his lesson. Ok, so I dressed up, styled up my hair, wear some outdoor shoes. Prepared everything and set off to TM at abt 5+.

Well at 6, I had to initiate de call and guess wat, was only told of the CHANGE OF PLANS then. Now they decided to go some1's house to 'SHAG'. Thnx alot, Have u ever seen some1 SO DRESSED UP to jus go SHAG at some1 else hse??? Worst, their shagging - Gym, Swim, Watch VCD/DVD. Well, HAVE U SEEN ANYONE WORE JEANS TO GYM?? DRESSED UP SO NICELY TO SWIM??????? And w/o carrying any xtra clothings or anything???

Seriously this isn't the 1st time similar thing happened to me. Be4 YOU start bitching me abt my attitude, Y not YOU put YOURSELF in MY shoes and tell me how YOU feel? While YOU at it, think abt how many times YOU did similar things to me everytime we meet to go out.

Thinking abt wat Shiyong told me, y I no backbone to confront, instead bitch abt it only... I dont know, seriously. I thought maybe if I jus bear w it then it wld not happen again. Well I was wrong, wasnt I? It jjus gave him another chaance to do it again.

Wanted to do some shopping to get my mind off this matter, and THE FUCKING TAC havent bank in my pay!! TMD KNN CCB!!! Trying to cheat my pay isit? In the 1st place I wasnt happy working dere, my appraisal was a total mess, and now u wan deprive me of the little joy I get from working there?

Seriously jus FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Not thinking str8 and yet thinking str8 concurrently while blogging,
-Shawn-

Major Panic

2008-02-03T02:04:00.001+08:00

Hey hey hey, Sorry for not being able to post these few days. Busy slacking, Opps I mean busy doing up my SIP report which was handed in on 31st Jan and jus completed my Major project. PHEW!! Now left my MP logbook to be handed in along w the project on Mon 4th Feb.

Well.. went back to school on 28th jan for post SIP briefing... WOW almost everybody who went to do their SIP outside chanegd image!! Icluding me that is... Everybody look so different... went to eat at Mensa, but unfortunately my Cai Peng stall not opened =( due to some fire mishap when I was having my SIP... boo hoo hoo.....

There was a talk from a headhunter company by an alumni from TP, and honestly, I slept during his talk -_- And after dat was a talk from a NTU lecturer to talk abt admission and some stuffs of NTU. WAH LAO... I know I cant get into vet sch.. so now I wan go NTU >.<>

Went training on thurs, after submission of my SIP report, hmmm some lao jiaos came to play along w us... swam quite alot during the game.. and not as shag as the Sat's 1... Sadly, didnt go for today's training because I was busy slacking, I mean doing my MP :) All the typos~~ :P

Argh!! I am so bored at home!! And this CNY I will not be able to go visiting.. haiz :/ No ang baos!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Grgh........ somemore no new clothes cos not visiting.. argh.. I think I try asking some money from my father to buy new clothes~ haha :P I know I m a cheapo... but hey!! I am no longer working leh!!

I think that shld be all for now.... I guess

-Shawn-

Smashing the Bottle.

2008-01-26T21:58:00.000+08:00

SIP finally over ytd, went for trainign dis morning. Not as tough, as fast as I used to be. Defnitely not as tanned. But at least I think I got part of my tan back today :)

Was very hungry and tired after training. Or shld I say halfway through training. Ate alot for lunch in Design School canteen. Really missed the school's food :( Sigh...

As usual I was too lazy to do anything of my project today, probably tmr, de day after, and de day after. NO!! I must proscrastinate no longer!!! I have to do sth soon!!

Sigh, sometimes I feel like a stepping stone to sth else. Either that or I am a vase that holds the flowers and people will notice the flowers instead of the vase. Damn this boring nights, always leave me Emo. GRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr Senstitive. Mr Emo. Call me watever U want. I am doing too much to unconceal, to go into the spot light. But it always backfires. Badly. All I achieve is more chidings. YES, I AM A SUCKER FOR COMPLIMENT!! Well who isn't? Ya I noe u always receive compliments, so u nvr know the feeling of having none. And yea, u're always getting the lights on u, so how would u noe how it feels behind the scenes?

SIP = Sucking-up Important People
Learn to bootlick the right people at the right place and time and you get full marks for everything even if U're lousy or disliked by every other people there.

Sorry, just thrashing around. Had been wanting to say this out a long time.

-Shawn-

Finally...

2008-01-24T21:30:00.001+08:00

Tmr.. will be my last day of SIP, days of torture, torment, stress and of course I did have fun, its all over. Or will it not?

I read/peeped the appraisal form which I shldnt had read/peeped. and WTF, so pissed off by the appraisal, doing me injustice... damn it... Dont know why i still bother to buy sth for them, I shld jus picked up that dead rat that I saw lying by the road and give it to them.

And DAMN this Headache that I am having now!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! Maybe its trying to tell me about my soon-to-due project and I havent complete it yet. Nor have I even buy the logbook which I was suppose to also submit with my project report.
Enjoy this song.. 1 of my favs... =)

-Shawn-

Pissed.

2008-01-20T12:39:00.000+08:00

Yup, I noe its not the end of the day and yet I can feel pissed. Just went to Bright Hill Park, to pay respect to my deceased grandfather for his 100th day since he passed away. Yup, as usual my relatives would be there, thought they would pin point my new ear studs, but no. They are STILL pointing my dog. Saying I shld give away cos I cant spend time w my dog. Oh Pls, in dis society hu can stay 24/7 at home?? Then my aunt say I rely on my 3rd uncle to look after, discipline my dog. I DIDNT ASK FOR HIM TO DO THAT! IN FACT I DIDNT LIKE HIS METHODS!!! I want to feed my dog twice a day and yet he shove in a 3rd meal in the middle of the day tho I had SPECIFICALLY told him not to be4.

Then I have my own disciplinary method to use, and he had to intefere, how am I suppose to tell my 3rd uncle off?? Zzzzzzzzz

I DONT NEED U TO TEACH ME HOW TO LOOK AFTER MY DOG!! I DONT NEED U TO TEACH ME HOW TO DISCIPLINE MY DOG!!! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ No one asked for ur comment either!! (To my Aunt)

So pissed, and she ASKED me to give my dog away, FUCK U BIATCH!!! Sorry For the vulgar, I hate ppl hu asked me to gif my dog away.

Then, my earphone, the oen that came with my phone, so far I havent use it even once and my father took it away from me tho I told him I wanted to use. He insist I have my mp3 and doesn't want to return it to me. Den now, when i ask for it, he tells me one side might be spoilt. Very pissed la, not even once I used and I cant throw my temper because he is my father and I wasnt very heard in the family either. Tho during lunch I told him to get it fixed/get a new one, I m still nto sure if he would do it. Well, its not wrong for me to ask him to do this, since I PAID FOR DE DAMN FREAKING PHONE!! AND THE EARPHONE IS MINE RIGHTFULLY AND HE TOOK IT W/O MY PERMISSION!!! Damn it la. Y cant I jus tell all these freaking adults off w/o suffering any consequences. Grgh!!

-Shawn-

Testing, Testing 1 2 3

2008-01-19T22:53:00.000+08:00

k wasting this post to test if I can embed music or not... Pls leave msg in the tagbox if u could or could not hear this song I embedded....

Yes, Like the song suggests, I m feeling Miserable.

-Shawn-

Love is in the Air, But I m on Earth.

2008-01-18T21:27:00.001+08:00

I m so bored~~ Maybe I shld had gone town for a walk just now and to look look haha... 7 more days to the end of SIP and about 14 days or so to my End. I havent complete my Major project! and I am so lazy to! haha.. omg.... Well at least I completed my SIP report... =D

Thanks to "passerby" for reading my blog =) It would be good if u erm.. introduce urself more? Haha.. and also thanks everyone who reads my posts =D

Can't seem to embed songs to my posts.. oh well... too bad for me then..

Haiz....

-Shawn-

2008-01-16T20:13:00.000+08:00

Took my NS medical check up ytd, sent to Pest A =( Grade A pest like a cockroach... haha.. ya not funny..

Anyways, I finally found the title of this song!! So nice!! Heard it twice! 1 from Charlie's Angels the other time from erm lets see... I think is.. Blonde Ambition. Quite a nice show and a little bit similar to Legally Blonde.. but the Blonde gets much smarter in Blonde Ambition.. hahaha...

ENjoy this video!!

-Shawn-

So Sick...

2008-01-14T20:39:00.001+08:00

I am so tired of everything, Life is just so tiring, nvr in my whole life have I ever felt so depressed and tired. Not even after losing a waterpolo game, not even after a waterpolo training. Prolly everything jus come up at one time and I really can't handle it.

Yah, something happened during my Waterpolo chalet, Dont wish to say it out here, just make everybody look bad. Just 1 thing to say, Abandoned Ship. Some would understand, some wouldn't, so just leave it as that. Somehow I wonders if I could be seen through. Maybe I am really Invisible Man like Susan Sue.

Then today, I haven been denied of another task i usually do, by Dr GN cos she says she doesn't want to have a surprise if I do it, how would I suppose to know that the dog is on heat THROUGH THE PHONE! The owner did not say her dog's on heat la... So ya, became my fault and she now deny me to book surgery appts. All the better I hate booking anyways.

And lots of unlucky things and unreasonable things happens arnd her.. and now I am so at risk of passing my sip... I m so stressed by my sip dat my mp is so minor in my whole heart..

If U don't like me to do anything, u might as well let me go home and discontinue my SIP, jus ask them to put in my report dat I've done my sip. U think I m so dying to work dere? Its so strange that I was so excited to be working in an animal clinic initially, u can ask my frens, I was jumping so crazily for joy when I noe I was going to the animal clinic.. and yet now I cant wait to leave... Life is so full of mysteries..

As mentioned in my last post, sorry if I had been impulsive and offended anyone along de way, not expecting anyone to 4gif me jus becos of this excuse. I dont deserve anything anyways.

~Invisible by Taylor Swift~

I'm sorry, I am really Detesting my Life and Will every second I m living. I hate myself for not being the Mr Perfect in everyone's Eyes. I hate myself for not even being the Mr Perfect in my own Eyes. I hate myself for not being able to work to be the Mr Perfect.

I m so unsuccessful in Everything I do, Everything I try to do, Everything I plan to do. Worst, sometimes I implicate ppl into things I do, My parents marriage, My grandfather, now my colleague got scolded. No wonder my team nvr did win any competition.

Let me Ctrl+Alt+Del - "End Process" my Life away pls...
-Shawn-

My Realisation..

2008-01-13T22:04:00.000+08:00

My impulsiveness always gets the better of me, I apologise to all those who gotten implicated by it in the past, present and prolly in future. I always make rash statements, rude comments, offensive language or stupid actions either in forms of sms, msn, by mouth, or even through my blog's posts for that matter. Sincerely apologise to every1 for this and to thank u guys for tolerating my "Bitchness" and also my "emo-ness" whenever I am angry, fustrated or sad.

I will try to do something abt it. I hope.

This impulsiveness of mine brought me nothing but trouble and more trouble. Awarding me with mindless quarrels and senseless bickering with my friends and family. This impatience oso cost me to lose something which I thought I had finally gotten it.

I would had thought after losing some1 close to me because of this I would have learned, but I didn't, Maybe I deserve to lose everything; everyone.

I couldnt be de "New Me" I resolved to be. I m useless. 我是犯贱.

-Shawn-

Bleeding Love

2007-12-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

Yes!! FInishing my written report SOON!!! I resolve to complete it before Sunday, 23rd Dec 2007!! Now left conclusions and recommendations, and need add things to the Job description to account for the word count. Grgh...

Had a very bad bad day today. Very. 1st woke up w a tummy ache, serves me rite for gobbling down the free McSpicy dat came from the delivery order I made, due to them keep bringing wrong orders and 4getting orders. Ended w 2 free McSpicys after the hassle. 1 for my father and another for me. Anyway back to the bad day, Realised from Shiyong my whole project is wrong and in a mess, was so damn sad have to re do everything, but thnx to my sis for helping amend my whole report. TY JIE!!! =D

Clinic was so busy, I did recep work and no time to go find my data for my project. So busy that I think I committed some boo-boos ... luckily the vet on duty is a very nice lady =D U shld see de Xmas Pressy she gave me, A very cute Tigger-pictured plush handphone holder!! and a little pinky pig phone strap which I gave my sis haha...

Wanted to do some tan work, was hesitating between CLementi pool and Tamp, chose tamp, and since I am having a bad day, Clementi's sun was glaring and Tamp was having a downpour. Cancelled my tan works and went to the arcade. Wasted 2 tokens to find out both sets of controllers isn't functioning properly. Wasted another 2 token to just play a single game which would usually cost 1 token in a functioning game booth.

While on the train ride, my legs was going wobbly from the standing, my eyelids gaining pounds by the minute. For about 4 -5 times when someone alights and a seat become available, the seat was snatched right in front of me. Was so damn tired and pissed and rock music was beating into my ears, u can imagine how I almost want to grab and throw some1 off the seats. Haha, thnkfully i still have a teensy bit of sanity left...

Just as I was abt to leave, thought I could alight at tanah merah and walked home. But NO! Its raining; down pour! Alighted at Bedok to catch a bus, and guess wat, the rain stopped when I reached the bus interchange. Got my feet soaked by a very big puddle and went home w a irritated feeling and squeaky crocs.

Took a little nap at 8pm, waking up at 11pm instead. Waking up to wondering," oh shit!! I am late for work!! " and " Is dere work today" kind of feeling. I mus be stressed from my work.. but if my work ends means its time to submit my reports soon.. Argh!! I am so FAN(2)!!!

Anyways found dis song on 98.7, Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, very emo song, but nice. Nice lyrics, nice music. I am really bleeding, but I dont know isit the physical bleeding I get from my hands that is painful, or the emotional bleed in my heart that is more hurting.

Damn suay, jus when I got tons of songs I want, multiply music search is down. Then plus I keep forgetting the bad events that happens, so irritating. Then when it happens again, theres the feeling of Deja Vu and its not supposed to happen if I had rem!!

I am feeling all cranked up and messed, is dis puberty? Haha. Cannot think properly, cannot remember things properly, the " I think I remembered I forgot sth" feeling.

Grgh, if only I can untangle this messed up feeling... If only.. I can... If only....

-Shawn-

Stain my Soul, Tattoo my Heart.

2007-12-19T21:03:00.000+08:00

Currently addicted to a song, Tattoo by Jordin Sparks. Nice song, Emo Song, I like! haha... ok fine, Emo Boy I am. I love U once, I needed protection, U still a part of everything I do, U in my heart, just like a Tattoo.... so nice....

Anyways, these few days damn sucky. Dont know why I am such a Goon. Oversleeping past my stops very frequently these few days... always end up in Simei, Tamp... Den just ytd I slept to Tamp and wat the heck, I jus do some Xmas SHopping for my Colleagues.. ended up buying wrapping paper instead.. haha... Oh also met Ivan, wah liew he Damn tanned now.. so jealous.. I am becoming a fair white boy T_T sobssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...

Ytd, also did sth I nvr was prepared to do.. I CUT THE BALLS OF A CAT!!! Scientifically, I castrated a cat. SO damn nervous... Tho john was at the side teaching me wat to do, but I jus so damn nervous haha.. Loos so easy and fast when the other technician does it.. when I do it... so slooooooooooooooooooooooooowwww and shaky haha... Dont think anything went wrong.... or else the owner would had called to complain liao ahha.... omg...then john say, try book more cat castrations on Tues, or times where Dr Blum or Dr Megumi works.. so I will do the castrations... gosh!!

Watched Alvin and the Chipmunks on Sun nite w my two other Angels haha.. They call us Charlie's Angels at TAC. I AM CAMERON!! =x ANyways back to the topic.. the show was cute.. but the sequence is bad, keeps jumping and before u know it, it ended. Like the part where alvin was singing Dont Cha while bathing haha... Cos now I listening to Dont Cha.. reminded me how he sang it w his squeaky pitch, which ended w a cute little scream.

Ya gonna mug sth out today or tmr, Hopefully is my SIP written report.. and tmr hopefully can amend my project report, but Hey!! DONT BE SHY TO ASK ME OUT!!! PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS haha... do I sound very despo here? WELL I AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM~~~

Dont Wanna Grow Up, I wanna GET OUT!!! TAKE, TAKE ME AWAY ~~~~ I wanna Shout Out~~~ TAKE ME AWAY AWAY AWAYYYYY~

I need a Life. A Life I had been Deprived off for a long time.
-Shawn-

Beneath the Stars,Under the Moonlight..

2007-12-13T21:56:00.000+08:00

Its always the cold, dark times where ppl starts to think and ponder on words or thoughts or watever the shit that happens.....

Ya abt just, I pondered alot, abt my SIP/MP I m farking left w like 1 mth to do
1) SIP written report
2) Mp Project report
3)Mp logbook
4)MP poster presentation

1 week do 1? Ya like real.. like can finish.. wat have I been doing for the past 3 mths??? Well, 1stly, slacking, 2ndly hankering for sth thats isnt possible... ya fine Emo, watever u call it.

Oh and did I mention the SIP written report needs a brief intro of the company and dere is no farking source in the net that talks abt my company other den the location?? Yup I am doomed.

2nd thing I pondered, my dog got the runs. Jus returned from the vets. Found lots of bacteria and flagelettes(dont know the spelling) in his stools. Headache, money's depleting and alrdy so busy and now this. DAMN, all the bad things can fall on me on 1 week.

3rd thing, This Sunday is the Christmas party of my clinic and I havent got the pressy or the money. Yup, the rest U can tell.

4th thing that kicks all the Emo in.
Dont u find the 2 hardest thing to do is to Remember and to Forget when U want to?
Try remembering all the thigns u studied for a test or a qns. Nth much seems to come up to ur mind or head or ass, whichevers thats bigger up there.
Or try Forgetting a quarrel a painful relationship or even a thing U just wish to forget. Everything just keep staying in there and popping up randomly. Those bad memories, those grudges, those debts or even the bad looks of some1, its etched further in then the pretty girl or cute guy u see a few mins ago.

I am so Sick of Life. Of Everything. Of Anything.

-Shawn-

Wishy Washy

2007-12-10T20:11:00.000+08:00

Bathe Vodka again today, better den last time. At least he doesnt run away this time.. maybe cos I used warm water =D But this wimp still afraid of de hair dryer.. haha.... Blah....

Went Vivo with Eddee and Gary... shopped and ended in Pet Safari.... haha... Saw a Shiba Inu, DAMN CUTE!! LIKE A FOX!! If I get another dog, it will be a Female Shiba Inu and I will name her, Vixen/Vixie aka Hu Li Jing. Den imagine my GF ask, U keeping a hu li jing at home rite!?!?! ANd Imagine I say Yes, she is very pretty haha =) Or can say, ya she is prolly slping on my bed now. HAHA!!!

Sorry ah no take pic of the Shiba Inu...

Ok la signing off... Oh did I 4get to mention I went ZoukOut w Eddee and Gary on Sat nite? :) Haha.... And Gary's mother make very delicious Fried Carrot Cake!! Yum =p

-Shawn-

Good or Bad? U decide.

2007-11-27T21:40:00.000+08:00

Its hard to judge my day today. A mix of good and bad.
Here goes.

Ok, Today sux, because I have to work at clementi side and I had the atmosphere there... got this very very stressed feeling 1, a gan jiong feeling.. maybe cause the head nurse there... Den in the evening be4 I left, de pirated DVD man came =D Bought 5 disc for $30, till exp I noe.. but... cheaper den originals. Then bad thing is alot of showsI wan watch dun have, Stardust, Enchanted, Saw 4, Beowulf... so I bought some other 5 including Game Plan =D At 1st only had 4 and was choosign de last 1... den de stupid DVD guy keep pushing me to buy 1 RA 1... I guai Kia =D nvr buy haha lolx...

Den very suay, todya While cleaning cage, the cage tore a bit of my NEW PANTS!!! ARGH ONLY WORE FOR 2 DAYS!! DAMN DULAN..... Grgh....

Den today played with this damn cute toy poodle, 4 mths old nia.. so cute!!! GOSH!! AND HE LIKES ME~~~ HAHAHA~~~ took some pics, but haven load to com... too lazy liao lolx...

Den today time was really creeping very slowly by.... its like having 48 hrs today... so slllllllllllllooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww... cun wiat for work to finish!! Den went for dental, now teeth whiter... but tml mus go back down to pay them cos they dont accept nets -.- And it was near closing time when I finished... and partly becos of them started late for me. My appt was at 7.45 and they only attended to me at 8.15... so by the time I finished it was 8.30, their closing time le... so yup...

Den Vodka so cute, he will keep his urine until he is out of the playpen den will urine at the spot he is supposed to... haha so cute!! tho when overnite he will still run to my sis's room to urine.. dunno y... hahaha.. no matter how much beating and scolding oso doesn't help...

Ok Signing off, feeling very happy abt something =D

Cheerful mood~
Somethin has come over me
And i think i know what it is
i think i’m in love
boy i think that i’m in love with you
i’ve been doin silly things when it comes to you
in love, boy i think that i’m in love with you
i’ve been tellin all my friends what i feel for you

~I think I'm in Love, Jessica Simpson~

-Shawn-

I MISS U GUYS!!

2007-11-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

Jus came back from a farewell party to Gifford. It has been a long time since I saw my WP mates, all of them growing so big huh, machoo kind of big. Or isit I shrinking? haha... Anyways they still as crappy as ever and some1 I feel so outcast-ed... maybe de separation.. too long... and de reunion too little and I scared I dun even noe how to play WP anymore.. haiz...

Its really great to end de day w laughter after a whole day of stress and fustrations. So stressed by SIP today, som emore vet in bad mood, everybody is target practise dummies.. she jus fires her rifle at everyone... and anything.. so scary.. den I seem to have endured alot of shots... and I wasn't the enemy...

Anyways enuff of the unhappiness, and back to the FUN!!

De nite was very crappy, de team gave Gifford a pack of strawberry condom and a leather trunk as a farewell gift... And there lots of stupid stuff done, like everybody add sth to a cup and Gifford mus drink it, but in de end de who9le team took a sip, and some1 added phlegm into it.. Hu's de culprit ah? Ahem* =p haha... P.S. Its really NOT me. I added garlic.

Well some cam whoring here and dere, and finally off to send Gifford off. Not really see him off, but to de venue he is supposed to meet his other classmates. lecturers and course manager.

Took a train home and some irritating Auntie, keep shushing us. ok I admit we r kinda noisy, butshe doesn't have to be so annoying rite? So I shoot her back saying she is noisier w de shushing here and dere and de comments she made. Like erm, Airport cannot make noise, an we re at expo station, and wad we very noisy and disturbing other ppl.... and grumbling lots of things.. anyways even when I alone walking she oso wan to nag here and dere. I suay suay exit at smae place w here and she was saying wad mus be I find them too noisy dats y nvr go w them and dis and dat or she say I am de noisy 1 dats Y they leave me? Wadeva. DUn bother. Haha

Ok signing off,

Shawn

Aloha Vodka!!!

2007-11-15T21:30:00.000+08:00

Paiseh for not updating for a very long long time... Today I brought Vodka for his 1st booster vaccination and Dr Blum say no need anymore le, can go for yearly boost liao, because his mother is already vaccinated and he had been staying with his mother for a month so he should had some of the antibodies liao haha..

Anyway, he is such a good good good boy la!!! He noes where to pee and poo liao =D den he doesn't like come to disturb me while I am eating.. or my sister.. we jus "Eh, Beat ah" den raise hand up, he stop liao... SO GUAI!!! Den he seldom bark, jus abit playful tho... and he dunno hwo jump up chair/bed =( and dun dare jump down haha.... He is such a good good boy for his age, he is 15 weeks now.. and weighs 5.08 kg!!! OMG...

ANyways, he is such a darling that he is the star at The Animal Clinic today haha.. both Sunset and Clementi branch!! The vets all adores him even Dr Nat!!! LOLX... He have such big pointy ears that some1 joked that he is crossed with a rabbit? LOLX...

Oh and I bought him a new shirt for $13=) let me show u some cute little pics of him in it haha...

Isn't he adorable!!! >_<>

Signing off with lots of adoration

-Shawn-

=D

2007-11-01T22:21:00.001+08:00

Smiles~ These few days my attachment more fun le~ haha... Cos now I am really having more fun, no more stress for SIP. Ok maybe very minimal.. haha.. but ya better now!!

So far I did quite a number of intravenous/blood collection, and I hit the vein liao!! WOOTS!! SO happy and proud of myself!!! Den now a days, Vodka very seldom anyhow pee le, at least in front of me he like dun dare pee lo.. hope he not getting de wrong msg across leh... not that I dun let him pee, I wan him pee at the right places.. or else I nto at home he anyhow pee, no difference lo...

Den he very notti lolx.. he got his own doggy cushion he dun use, den when I put my pillow on de floor, I haven even lie on it.. guess hu snatch away liao!! YES VODKA DID!!! HAHAH... Notti sia... but so cute~=D

Hmm seems like I am very happy rite? Nah.. not quite.. My MP is giving me headaches.. now have to do the proposal.. I dun even have a cclear thing I wan to do in mind.. how to write proposal... means I am gonna anyhow pia sth out le... well nto tonite at least.. haha =x

Ok signing off, oh ya be4 I 4got, shiyong clinic dere got one notice for adoption for a 4 yr old silk terrier, paper trained, microchipped male.. I 4got if its sterilised. Highly probable it is. The owner is giving him up becos they are unable to take care, not health problems (at least thats wad they said). ANyways, I am in no position to leave their contact number here, msn me or sms me if u're interested. Especially to u, Joel, dun say I nvr help u keep a lookout ah.. haha but U keep not on9 msn nowadays liao...cannot tell u haha..

Ok signing off,
-Shawn-

Vodka..

2007-10-23T23:33:00.000+08:00

A little puppy of 3 mths old,
Can't even pee/poo at the place he was told.
Food, treats and more food, his only motivation,
Anyhow pee somemore careful I bring u in for Castration!

A strange little fellow who prefers to be active indoors,
acting shy and guai whenever he is outdoors.
Can't believe he is like his owner, me.
Cute, sweet, innocent, lovable and a little greedy. =p

Had u vax and microchipped on the 18th,
Better let ur microchip number,3435 win the 1st.

U're like a little child of 3,
So cute, so active, so vulnerable and all so precious to Me.

My Dog, Vodka, borned on 27th july and entered the family on 12th Oct.

Signing off w lots of pee in the house and some on my leg,
-Shawn-

Love me, Love me, Pretend that you Love me...

2007-10-21T08:53:00.000+08:00

I am so Emo now... Am I the black sheep of the family? Why isit everything I do cun be compared to my sister? Why is my father treating her so differently from how he treat me? Am I really his son?

1st incident:

It was 1 of the days of my grandfather's wake, the 3 of us quarrelled abt sth and it was very heated. Tho it was my sis fault, I was being targetted, and became my father and I quarrelling. Then my sister jus break down hysterically, its obvious she is jus faking it and den my father said : " Look wad U done, U made ur siter cry. U better do sth abt it, or I will do sth to ur dog." After hearing this I am so damn pissed, Y isit ALWAYS my fault? SO I asked him if it was me hu had broke down hysterically, would he blamed my sis or even himself or would he jus asked me to shut up. He was speechless.

2nd incident:
Jus ytd, my sis left her folded clothes on my bed. I asked her nciely to keep it be4 I go to slp and she demanded me to keep it for her. I was like WTF?? So I told her calmly, if by the time I go to bed and its still dere, I will sweep it to the floor. Den she threatened me to watch out nxt time and she oso wun help me do anything anymore. How unreasonable can 1 get? So I asked her wad's wrong with asking her to keep HER OWN things, and she say sth off topic dat its thnx to her I am able to keep de dog. Of course I got angry and like ask her again wads wrong w asking her to keep her own things? And guess hu interrupted de arguement? My ftaher of cos, he turned to ME and say," U better Shut up, no more noise from u" How bias can 1 get?

3rd incident:
Jus this morning when waking us up for breakfast, my father bend down to my sis bed level, and asked nicely wan to have breakfast or not? Den when come to me, he jus push my head," Oi, wan to go have breakfast?"

I dunno, and this is jus de recent 1, dere are alot more previously when my sister and I do quarrel, he always seems to side her no matter how absurb she is. And he never blamed or scold her for de mess she made to the house.

I would have tot wad happened to my grandfather would make all of us, more aware of each other's presence and not take things for granted, but I was wrong. I merely jus took over my grandfather's place in de house, forgotten and unheard. De only one hu listens to me and gif me attention now is Vodka.Mus I resort to wad my grandfather did be4 I can get some attention? Mus 1 dies be4 they can be noticed, heard and remembered? DO others only feel remorseful or regrets only after some1 die? Wad is the use of these regrets and remorse when the person is no longer around? I'm alrdy trying to change ever since my grandfather's incident, but wad abt the others? Maybe 1 is not enuff, Maybe need 2 to be sufficient....

I am in need of love... I love attention too, but does anybody notice dat? Ha, I doubt.

Signing off,
-Shawn-

Injuries of Fury

2007-10-19T22:21:00.000+08:00

Ouch, my whole body is full of injuries...

Ytd brought Vodka to be microchipped and vaccinated, prolly he hurts from the microchipping.. den he will whine suddenly or bark or worst struggle... den at nite I stroking him halfway (away from the spot of microchipping) he suddenly bark and started struggling, leaving a bad cut at my leg... ouch...

Then today, Felix Bear the farking noisy grumpy ungrateful cat, helping him change bandage to recover, den everytime make so much noise until Dr Nat pek cek and become very bad mood. Den today I restraining him, out of a sudden he turned his head and bit me hard in de hand.... yes can see his bite mark.. den Linda see le say, aiya nvm, not deep will heal in a few days -.-

Den at home I so tired I lie on de floor, suddenly Vodka go pounce on my face and bit my lips... bleeding.. Ya of course I scolded him haha.. Cos when I toilet training him he keep dun listen still anyhow here and dere.. den now he still bite me... Bad Vodka! BAD BAD VODKA! >=(

Den I bought this super cute watermelon 'Hideout' for him, he like dun really use it much ... Bad bAd Bad Vodka!! SO So tired... so lazy to do major project.. After going thru clinical records, I find out I dun have enuff and substantial data for my project due to poor record keeping .. haiz.. I am so dead now...Pic of the day: Vodka Melon!!

Signing off with a Solemn Heart and a feeling of Failure...
-Shawn-

Vodka~

2007-10-16T22:39:00.000+08:00

Hey.. sorry for MIA-ing so long.. jus finished my grandfather's funeral... ya I m fine frens, dun worry =) And Sorry to those whom my sis msg on MSN.. I m fine.. she overreacted dats y haha..

Anyways, de death of my grandfather, make me very remorseful and sad dat I only realise how bad a grandson I m only after he passed away... I wasted my chance to show him I care when he's alive and now he's dead I cun do anything... I really hate myself for being so short tempered dat I argued and fell out w him. I m NOT proud of it... and I will change my temper... DUn wan similar regrets to happen becos of my temper again.. Sorry Ah Gong, May U find peace in wherever U r now...

Well... Now.. I wan introduce a new member of my family =) Vodka~~

Cute huh? Doesn't bark or whine much, slightly playful and naughty, and a greedy piggy like me!! HAHAH!!Look at that ears!! ! up 1 down!! SO cute~ haha

For those hu dunno, he is a Jack Russell cross Corgi,2 + mths old, Borned 27th July~ de one I mentioned I wan in de previous post, heng heng de owner of dat previous post corgi cross jrt had a litter of unwanted puppies from dat dog, so she finding ppl to give to~ and I got 1 haha~
He likes sleeping under chairs,tables..... dark places haha... No problem w dat since I cleaned those places earlier in de afternoon =) But den.. I cun toilet train him leh.. he keep urinate other places but de newspaper... if like dat I have to keep him in de small playpen when at nite.. and cun slp in my room ='( but den.. at least he isn't whiny abt it.. so scared he whines/barks and irritate my 3rd uncle and father... but heng he is such a GOOD boy =D Vodka I love u~ Oh did I mention he likes to atk ppl faces? Atking as in lick and like erm try to scrape using his teeth? haha.. And I oso tried to cut his LOOOOONG nails.. but when I jus cut 1 of it, he starts barking.. didn't wan to wake my uncle up so I stopped.. it din even cut his vein and he so whiney... -_-

Ok Signing off to slp.. was so tired during de days of de funeral.. thnx for those hu came =) it meant alot to me and thnx sam for looking after Vodka while I was preparing my grandfather's stuffs...

Signing off,

-Shawn-

The Thinker.. or the Stinker??

2007-10-11T20:01:00.000+08:00

Did quite alot of thinking during work today.. cos no much thigns to do... and I wasn't able to do my MP cos I need an acct and they did not give me 1, and none of them are 'brave' enuff to lend me theirs, as in log in for me and I use. SO.. I did quite alot of thinking.. not on my MP sadly, but mostly on HOW TO KEEP A DOG!!! HAHAH...

30% thinking of my MP, 70% thinking of how to sneak a dog home and be able to keep it.

1) I get a puppy, hopefully a Corgi and JRT cross, saw 1 in de clinic jus now DAMN CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Corgi cute face and a JRT sexy muscular body WOOT!!

2) Then I sneak it home and tell my father I GOT IT AN DITS TOO LATE!!! SHld be able to succeed since I am much older now.. and hey! I be maintaining it W my own money!! He shld have no complains!

3) The space problem, well I think I buy a large cage, den when I am not at home, I leave him in de cage in my room, door closed. Like dis my grandfather cun dee siao it. Den at nite, I bring de cage to my kitchen and let him roam abt in my room, door closed. And be4 dat, I bring him down for a walk =) so yup it shld be ok rite... Now de major problem.. A puppy has to be fed AT LEAST 3 times a day... Hmm....

4) Hopefully he will be toilet trained, dne I wouldn't be afraid of letting him out of de cage too even when I am not at home. Oh lets not 4get, mus help him to be grandfather-proof too, I dun wan him to be a target of abuse by my grnadfather. And den I oso can let him sleep w me if he is toilet trained ^^

5) All this would had succeed if I wasn't such a scardy/soft spot. I jus dun dare to go ahead w/o my father's permission... or at least inform him abt it. I MUST LEARN TO BE DEFIANT!!!

Now to hope de clinic will receive such notice of ppl selling this type of cross's puppies or JRT puppies =) or best giving them haha!!! But then... I heard mus license and microchip, license is 14 per yr for sterilised and 70 per yr for non... exp sia.. den microchip is like abt 85 liao.. erps!!
Den maintenance i think will not be dat exp, as it is like paid by installments, snowball up den will exp, weekly/monthly wun be exp ... its like taking care of children or urself wad...

K dats de thinking I had been doing today... and I conclude... I WAN KEEP DOGS!!

I think later I go ask my father, if I am able to keep a dog, I will be paying 4 de maintenance and as for de space problem, I got it covered.. I helped Gerald look after his rabbit for 3 days wad, no problems w de space.. and in fact my house got cleaner on the 3 days lo.. dtas de adv of me having a dog =) LOLX!!

Signing off,

-Shawn-

Soul Searching...Under 'Lost n Found'

2007-10-09T21:41:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I jus feel, people are funny. Y mus things be lost be4 We noe how to cherish? Y mus lies be told be4 truth comes? Y mus ending comes be4 dere is a beginning? And of course, Y mus dere be complains 1st be4 u stop de problems?

Anyways dis is in reference to my SIP matter. Dr Chooi came ytd, its all solved.. I think. I hope. And of course more ppl come n tell me, nxt time got problem tell them and of course, dat they are all approachable even tho they might seem otherwise. ANyways starting afresh, today was fun =D I am beginning to enjoy my SIP!!! Maybe cos problems are solved.. well cept for my MP dat needs de synopsis to be handed in on Fri. Deciding to jus come out w a synopsis even be4 I can be sure if I cna get de results.. becos.. I seriosuly no time and no materials to go search for de results now. Its liek my starting para, even when we come out w a title(de beginning) we have to make sure we have de ending. Its like.. hmm we mus noe how to die be4 we noe how to live? Ok.. sounds very emo.. NO I M NOT EMO!!! Its jus a fact lo...

And I also have to be wary of my postings, pics or wadeva, becos it has been BANNED to do so.. and some1 got sacked/fired and retained for doing so...so pardon me if dere are less pics hur? haha.. Zeus is jus So so so so sos so sossosososososososoosoooooooooooooooooooo CUTE!! OMG!!! HE finally begun to warm up to me!! As in, he now Soooooooooooooooooooooooo Happy to see me lo!! But too bad He is going home tml sobs sobs.. nah... I shld be happy for him ='(

Signing off w chains of pearly tears rolling down my cheeks (SOund so english Compo rite? haha ) and oh yea, Woots I won a total of $12++ from MJ w Sam Jess and Swee on sat!! I mean Sat night... emr sun morning... ah sshucks!!

-Shawn-

Another vid

2007-10-05T21:00:00.001+08:00

Today Dr Nat praised me =D haha.. den well today John been his irritable self. And.. omg.. Dr Chooi wan visit my clinic nxt Mon?? Oh my..

Den today suay suay, I carry a 12 yo poodle to de 1st branch, too concentratingon de poodle, den never see de van de back nvr close, still opened, den walk and langah into dat door, u noe erm like car boot de way it opens? ya, so I only can see de front at de corner of my eye, but not the top, so dere, langah. Never swell up enormously, but got a little cut and a small swelling.

anyways here's de vid..

-Shawn-

LOL HILARIOUS VIDEOS!!

2007-10-04T21:32:00.000+08:00

Ok, be4 I post de video, Dr Chooi emailed me liao.. erm think he say wan to contact de relavant ppl? and we coem down for a meeting? wth.. dun tell me I have to face John... anyways.. today no him, so its good =) But I am still afraid of Dr Nat.. haha..

Zeus the Cross Borzoi prefer Dr Blum and den me =( sobs haha.. and Dr Blum bought him a treat which makes him like her even more >_<>Happy Sha La La La~ its so nice to be Happy~ I can make it thru the Rain~! I can stand up once again!! Ok enuff crap and str8 to de vids, Go ahead and Laugh ur pants/shorts/skirts/boxers/undies/G-strings off haha!!

-Shawn-

Staying Strong

2007-10-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

Everybody seems to be enjoying their SIP, at least Shiyong, Hanqun and Joel are.. so I am staying strong and I WILL enjoy my SIP =) Jus have to take John pestering as a tune thats worst then my own singing =x LOLX.. anyways I am going to stay strong, if Zeus can do it, so can I. ANyway, Zeus is a damn cute/handsome Borzoi Cross. He was admitted by the SPCA after he was knocked down by a car. Came in whining in pain and with a very big open wound thigh down and a dislocated hip and a fractured ulna. But now he is going strong =) And he is such a cute attention seeker haha I love de way he rest his head on my thighs, SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! K heres de pics... De before, yes very yucky and big .. its practically the whole thigh...DIn really show de thighs, but its all stitched up liao =) isn't he handsome??Look!! He is jus so cute~~!!SO cute~~ Not fair lo.. he till now haven kiss me be4 =( He kissed Mani, the erm laundry-autoclave-cleaning lady be4 lo.. den de Whisky keep 'raping' me haha.. can nvr stop licking me 1 lo him.... See!! Haha.. den very funny when he got jealous when de cat Olive was getting my attention haha.. anywya Olive is such a horny feline, when u stroke her back rite she will really tilt her butt to face u while her body lie low.. horny feline!!! DUn have a picture of that, will get 1 soon... hahaaCute pom eh?? But he got very very bad teeth and a bad breath.. in the end... put to sleep. JUS KIDDING!!! Siao PTS for bad teeth?? haha.. anyway.. he left erm lets see... 4 teeth nia.. de rest all so bad dat have to be extracted... and Lizel was like complaining of the bad breath while giving him dental haha.. use a whole bottle of chlorhexidine and 3 whole bottles of distilled water to use the teeth scaling with...

Her name is bubbles, age 8 yrs + cun tell rite? And doesn't she look like de powerpuff girls de bubbles?? her hair damn cute la.. natural 1 somemore lo... Sam, ur Cherry can nvr be dis cute lo =xDen dere is dis Shih Tzu brought in by SPCA for dental... so jealous when I snapping picts of de Bubbles and Pomeranian. Den when I want take his pic, he camera shy -.- Had a hard time to snap this 'ghastly' awaful pic of him. Den had to rush back to my branch cos my darling Zeus is at de Clementi Branch and I am at de Sunset branch =( Move him dere, Move him dere!! >.<>

Ok I m gonna enjoy my SIP tml onwards even w difficulties rushing towards me!!Cos I will be strong!!!

-Shawn-

Failure

2007-10-03T19:57:00.001+08:00

I failed. I failed to supress my stress and anger. It was all going smnoothly for the whole day till the last 5 minutes John came in and provoked me. I wasn't able to control anything. The whole day I did not see him till the last 5 minutes before I off work. It seems if it was the whole day, something probably will happen since the lats 5 minutes can make my anger level shoot way up.

I almost lost my hand while completing his task.

I've already emailed my LO, Dr Chooi about the situation I am facing in TAC. Hope that doesn't give him a bad impression of me, and he would be able to do something to help me.

I dun wanna fail my SIP. Help.

-Shawn-

A New Resolution

2007-10-02T20:39:00.000+08:00

Ok, thanx for ur concerns everybody, and sorry for de complaints. Maybe I looking htigns at de wrong approach. So instead of looking as each single thing they do as a mean to make life difficult for me, I m gonna be stronger, den ytd, den half a day ago, den a min ago, I am going to see it as a oppurtunity to become stronger. So at least for de whole of tml, I m going to try to look things differently, control my emotions, not going to let them make me become angry or stressed. Hopefully I succeed. GANBARIMASU!!!

-Shawn-

Stressed..

2007-10-01T20:23:00.000+08:00

Was suppose to assist de vet, Dr MK for a surgery, in de end, john de vet tech had to follow and stress me. Ask me lots of qns, when I noe de answer he keep proceeding till i dunno. So instead of wasting time answerign and answering, I gave him de REAL ans he wnated to hear, "I dunno" . and Of course he made me go home and 'research' de answer. And of course before dat, he had to put me down in front of the vet like I m stupid or some kind. It might not seems wrong for him to ask qns, but de way he is doing it is stressing me. And he keep making me do chores and he himself slacking abt. Cannot risk becoming de 2nd some1 hu had an unfortunate incident. And sorry to dat some1 I wasn't able to help u. =( Cannot gif him an excuse to fail me in my SIP. Its like, 1st he asks u to name de ship dat hit de iceberg and sunk, den he ask for de yr it sunk, den when u tot he got nth to ask, he asked u for de number of ppl hu went down w de ship and when u tot its over.. u're wrong. He asked u to name de ppl hu went down. Dats how stressed I am, and how ridiculous his qns are sometimes. Den when u got it rite, he somehow pick faults in ur answer, like u say Shawn was one of them he will say, no, its Shaun not Shawn.

Its not that I dunno things u noe, I noe 1, but he keep asking until I dunno den he happy, even when doing tasks. Like his fren, who is so sick dat when I got scolded he is laughing and stifling his giggles. Imagine dat!! FK U S-Os, U SICK PERVS!! SLAVE DRIVERS!! I m not lazy ok, I am very hardworking dere 1 lo, maybe dats y i was so hated.

Now trying to do things properly to avoid having de same incident as u... today I was dAMn stressed and angry that when I retold Xynthia wad happened I almost burst into tears/rage/tears... wadeva, all de same.

Had a chat with Shiyong's supervisor, Dr Quek, good, frenly and handsome young man, he suggested giving feedback to de school. But then from de view of a bystander, it will seems dat the vet techs dere is nto wrong in doign wad they r doing, but de one going thru it will actually exp all de stress.

Even b4 I leave at 6, he have to make a sarcastic remark such that I had to stay back to 'do my job' of cleaning de cages and feeding. Like wth, why dun he need to do anything? I bet today wad I did in hmm 4 hrs can beat wad he did for de whole day.

Ppl, SIP is NOT, I repeat, NOT a fun thing. SIP students no matter where u work, u're ranked LOWEST IN THE FOOD CHAIN, sometimes I feel my status is lower then de cleaner. Its slightly better den in-house only in that I get paid for it.. but barely enuff to cover wad I am going thru.

Haiz.

-Shawn-

Woo~ Dis is an S.O.S

2007-09-28T20:14:00.001+08:00

Woot! Got de song I wan liao! Ty Hanqun for finding it for me and recommending a good site to dl songs too!! haha.. and of course thnx Shikai for letting me to even noe abt de song!! It rox!! SO nice.

Anyways, tho ytd was full of events, but all makes my blood boil so I did not blog, basically, the vet techs, ok only 2 ve techs, seems to be making life difficult for me... they both very guai lan. Anyways ytd Dr Nat was nto as eman to me.. but today, she erm.. bore her fustration on me for little things... all Felix Bear the cat fault haha.. he grumpy, Dr Nat oso will grumpy... Have to be careful when mentioning names u noe.. I dun wan out of my SIP because of my blog.. haha.. anyways.. stupid la.. the Ron gave me a nickname, Loverboy.. dun even noe wad isit abt.. but got a feeling its sth to do w Xynthia... de full of tattoo recep haha... Anyways, today other den being chided by Dr Nat, it was overall quite fun as dere's like nth to do but slack and chit chat and take lots of quizzzes on quizilla =x

Oh and sorry Shiyong, Dr Nat xia ling, u cannot come our clinic slack anymore =( Nvm dis time we go ur clinic haha!! Here's mroe pics!! Sorry if I camm whore alot there haha...

This is Balieys erm dun really noe how to spell... anyways she is de one hu's owner no money pay and dare talk so much over dere, and say de Vet no heart when dun wan treat becos she no money pay.. now we're expecting and Dr Blum's hoping de owner WILL pay at de end of de month when she got her pay... Anyway she had a fracture.. in her hindlimb and Bloody Diarrhea I mean bloody urine =p, look much better now.. and she is cute, and a very BIG eater!! She in her sexy pose, cute huh? haha

This is Chestnut, the very naughty regular dere.. scratching and bitting fingers he sees.. he was abandoned halfway undergoign treatment and de owner jus POOF like dat... anywyas he is much better now.. cept de naughtiness....haha

This is some1's else dog, Bond, a Samoi(is dat how its spelt) anyway.. I find him damn handsome!! LOOK AT HIM OMG~~~~ I wan him >.<

Tot of sth while taking this pic, Rem de song Reflection by Christina Aguilera? When will my reflections shows, who I am.... Inside~~~ haha..
This reminds me of ROmeo and Juliet, oh did I mention de Schnauzer's a Romeo(male) and de Boxer's Juliet(female)? haha... aw.. wad a heartbreaking scene.. Shakespear lives!! =x
And dis is Hitler!! " No pics, no pics!! Or I have U up for copyrights!! " Smileys~~

Ok and dats all, till nxt upload frenzy!!

-Seraphi aka Shawn-

Short and Sweet.

2007-09-25T22:09:00.000+08:00

SIP was getting along fine till,

1) Dr Nathan is back, I am stressed again, Got "scolded" by her ytd
2) MP idea kena rejected as not being like a MP enuff.
3) Growing fat, paunchy w a belly showing MORE.

And thus, it sux.

Anyways, who have these songs can send me? trying to find a good version...

1. Chris Daughtry, Its Not over ( Sam, ur version oso got play halfway in de middle can hear a skip, den cont, hu have a good version w no pause, . pls send. I dun wan acoustic or concert ver, i prefer original haha..)
2. Jonas Brother S.O.S, I dun wan acoustic version, I wan original, but all I find from Limewire are all acoustic and short. Pls.. ty...
3. The way I are, Timbland, Cos mine is a 2 mins+ ver and I believe it shld be longer... dun wan any remix, ORIGINAL!! CHOOSE ORIGINAL!! HAHA =x

Thnx.

-Seraphi aka Shawn-

Say it with Pics

2007-09-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

My SIP so far.. sux... keep being shoot with qns which was never taught to us, and sentences like, "Y u dunno?", "I am going to fail u, shawn", "U better noe by nxt month or I will fail u" Wth.. i am super stressed alrdy by my MP now this.. ergh!!! Anyways dere's always ups and downs.. tho more down but dats life... here are some pics I took.. not gonna put pics of wad I shall be using for my MP, "Wound Managment" or some non-biology people will gross out by the pics.. so put some G-rated pics instead. Haha...Meet Hitler, Dr Nathan's cat. He is fat, and mentally retarded, seriously.. he is very slow in reaction. He is a perm resident there with Chestnut the Siamese hu keep scratching me -.- CUn get a pic of him as he is so playful dat he keeps trying to claw my cam and myhand.
All Hail Hitler!!
This hamster came in with a broken leg which have to be amputated, and thus to prevent it from licking the wound, a Elizabeth collar, E collar is used. But they dun make hamster-sized e collar and thus de vet tech used a x ray film to make it.. cute? Like satellite =x
This dog here to remove a lump on his body. Forgot his name.. and can U believe he is a show dog?? I dun believe... and he is very naughty and noisy!! haha... till we sedated him.. a-hem lolx.. 2 of the 3 dogs of Dr Blum's fren. Tequila and Doofus respectively. Doofus is very picture frenly, in fact, he will pose for u when the cam is out. Tequila is more of the shy type.. very hard to get a pic of her in front...
See!! What did I tell u, he is so picture perfect!! In other words, a cam whore.. LOLX...
the 3rd dog, Teddy. Its so hard to get a pic of him cos he is SOOOOOOOOOOO hyperactive and destructive.. he shredded the paper lining the floor into pieces......
A chihuahua and a maltese in for dental de nxt day... doesn't this pic look like an advertisement? haha.. like the chihuahua promoting something.. look at de eyes!! haha...
Isn't the chihuahua jus so cute?? Everybody dere jus cun help but open up de cage and carry and hug her... lolx and did I mention she will lick ur fingers when u put it in front of her, and lick ur nose when u put ur face close to her??? ARGH SO CUTE!!!!!!!! Her name is Paris btw and de other is Bell. Her head really bell-shaped 1 -.-

Took this pic to show de size of de dogs comparison to the smallest cage we have dere.. and they still ahve so much room... and both dogs each weigh 1kg++ less den 1.5 la!! So pocket size!! haha

Dats all the pics for now. Till de nxt massive upload lolx..

-Seraphi aka Shawn-

SBS Transit hates me...

2007-09-16T00:27:00.000+08:00

Sobs.. SBS transit hates me lo.. ytd want take 154... waited for an hour plus den bus come.. den when wait until pek cek wan call Customer Relation's Centre Hotline..: " Sorry We are closed for the day, Please visit our website at ww....... " Den today, wait for 17 to go from Pasir ris to bedok, waited a freaking 40 mins+ for de bus.. *rolls eyes* den oso when want go janice bdae party, waited abt 20mins for de bus..

Anyways Janice Bdae party was FIlling, as in, her humorous father keep stuffing us w food lol and even wan make us pack home hahaha .. but he dun let me ta bao apple =(... I health conscious need apple ma... sobs =( *PS apple is one of their 3 dogs =x * hahaha

K fine Eddee, de nxt time i blog i put pictures.. I going to sneak some photos de nxt time i go clinic, bluff say for sip lolx =x and I show u hitler and chestnut!! 2 regular cats dere, but I doubt can show surgery 1, cos I think Dr Nathan is dere.. and MAYBE de vet techs dun allow cameras.. maybe nia.. I see 1st...

Very tired of SIP and of what to do for my MP Bleahx... Tiring as in always asked sth i dunno how ans or do, I noe 1 dun ask... BLEAHSSSS Tired of making mistakes.. And not doing as well as all the Vet Techs.. sobs..

K signing off now, quite tired...
and I wan watch my Charmed =x

Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just stay, stay
Oh come on
I've been waiting for you

~Save Me, Remy Zero~

-Seraphi aka Shawn-

Anything of Everything is Something

Yeah eh eh, so Hard... So hard.. so hard...

Bad Romance

An Imperfect Angel...

Shopping SpppppprrriIIIIIIIiiiIIIIEEeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE~?

Best Birthday? Or Worst?

I wan Water Dessert too.. T_T

Just another Post

A disappointing ending and beginning.

The Night is never as dark as U think it is..

Must be positive, must be positive..?

I huff and puff and I break my own house down.

Commission Loh!!

A series of Unfortunate choices.

Shawny got Low Low Low low...

Random Brawling..

Chong Taipei dao Beijing~

='(

A Let Down...

Speechless

This Suck.

HNY 2009!!

Dreaming of....

Somethings u jus cant 4get...

Its a Bad Scare >.<

Disturbed-ia

Circus

*****

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Its a Scare, its a Nightmare!!

Tough time dont last, they just stay forever.

Busy BZ Bee Zeeeeeeeeeeeeee

And woe woe woe woes...

MMS..

Spiralling... Spiralling...

To Follow or Not to Follow...

Next Plane Home?

I'm scared...

POP pics

Merry POPpins~

Dogs alert!!

Its Good to be Back..

Break all mirrors!!

Dont Fall on the Floor...

It goes to dogs too...

Fell..

the tough will last..

Staying in Touch, literally.

Next to you...

Money Money Money

Oh My God?!?!

Better in Time..

Wat a Day!!

The Wait...

Fuggly Foon Goos

Songs of Emotions

a mistake from de start

Juggling Muggling

Unbreak my Heart.

Leaping Years

Love me or Hate me

The Human Body

Just Fine.. Fine...fine..fine...

Funny Video haha

Under De Weather

A Night Out

Done w U

my 100th post

Major Panic

Smashing the Bottle.

Finally...

Pissed.

Testing, Testing 1 2 3

Love is in the Air, But I m on Earth.

So Sick...

My Realisation..

Bleeding Love

Stain my Soul, Tattoo my Heart.

Beneath the Stars,Under the Moonlight..

Wishy Washy

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