A disappointing ending and beginning.

Hmm my commissioning turned out to be a disappointing 1... dont get me wrong.. de parade went smoothly, de weather was kind enuff to rain only after the parade ended, everybody did their respective drills perfectly... everything was good for the majority.. for me.. i was disappointed.

It seems that my 9 mths of perseverance, once in a lifetime event, seems to be just 1 small thing to others. Yeah, cos its not THEIR commissioning I guess. My own sis can even find it so unimportant compare to her student's tuition. WOW!! Dats for family.

But oh well at least she told me she will not come, way beforehand so I gave my tickets to my friends. ANd wow.. of all my friends I have, I chose my, I thought, waterpolo Buddies? I dont know. Well, yes I wld be sad if u said u cld not make it, but now I m upset cos they told me they cldnt make it, well the day before and had to leave early on the day itself.. and most power, cannot turn up for the dining at the VIP right before de dinner itself?? Wow... I dont know.. I guess my events are so minute and unimportant huh? Like I said if u told me way beforehand when I asked u, I cld still find replacement. But no! Everything last min.

Had an empty seat with untouched food served on my table. My Section instructor asked me, y is dere an empty seat. Isnt my mother coming? And yea, for 6 mths, he didnt know I was from a divorced parents family. Some section intructor/officer eh? I promise, I will NEVER be such an officer. NEVER.

During the parade, I cried, nope, not becos I m touched dat I finally commissioned. Cos initially I cldnt find my father or frens. Like a lost dog, in the parade sq I visually scanned for them, but to no avail. I thought they chose not to come. I thought they missed it. Hmm but then I caught a glimpse of my father right before the affixing of the rank, and yea, I was delighted. At least there's someone. and the china lady wasnt dere =D And den I found out the reason I cld not find my fren was becos they were at the wrong seat, they cldnt find me. Becos he didnt know behind he invitation card was where i wrote all the details. And he didnt know abt all these even tho, I explained every single thing abt it when i pass the tix to him. Go figure.

ANyways, right before the parade, my 'wheel of fortune gang' smsed me to congratulate me on my commission, was happy yea, but felt bad I didnt invite them.. well at least i think the turn out wld be better? SHame on me to think dat... yea nto as if my wp buddies AWOL. they did have their reasons.. which I dont know what. But anyways, yea, jus upset, disappointed and yea I m petty, like a girl, tight chested, small gas, wateva k? I m sick of it. Y cant I jus bitch or grumble on sth I dont like. Y cant I be angry abt sth that pissed me off? Y others can and not me? Y U can and I cant??? Wtf is dis!!

Well its not all that bad... I guess... its jus a commissioning aint it? Nobody cares unless u're on the parade itself. Or De one commissioning. It doesn't matter to anybody, nobody nobody but U.

Yea still feeling sore, disappointed wateva, as I bitch abt this, tears welled up in my eyes again. shivers went

down my spine, goosebumps popping. WTH, I m an officer now, this type of small matters shldnt get into my head. Can it?

May tmr be a better day, may de nxt chapter be a better beginning.
-ShawnZ-